Draco

So I’m continuing to navigate my way through this thing I’m starting to learn is my quarterlife crisis. So many things have changed that I’m essentially living a whole new life. The thing is, I still feel very much like a college student. It’s been a hard identity to abdicate. And whereas before the goals were so concrete and laid out before me, now my core purpose is so much more abstract. I need a goal, I need to feel ambitious. I think the harsh realities of the real world have caused me to lose a lot of the anything-is-possible, optimistic attitude I had while I was a student. My career aspirations and personal interests are all being challenged now, because my needs are changing, my expectations have changed, and I am changing. I’ve noticed I’m much wiser than I was a year ago. Somehow, the loss of my naivete has been bittersweet. The world seemed so simple and harmless before; now it doesn’t necessarily seem worse. . . just with every decision I make, there is a whole lot more to consider in than I ever had realized.
Sometimes I miss the simplicity I remember. In terms of problem solving, I definitely think much more completely now, and I realize that adulthood is a lot of hard work. With the great freedom comes great responsibility.

I’m not sure what my peers from my graduating class are doing with their lives, because I avoid Facebook like the plague. But if they aren’t getting married and starting families, I wonder what they’re doing. I feel like I’ve been essentially living to work. My social life was much more colorful and active in college. Since then, it seems like nothing’s left in life except to somehow find a way to quickly procreate to make the miserably mundane 9 to 5 worthwhile. I don’t really see romance or children in my near future, so it’s going to be interesting to see what I end up doing with myself. For now I’m just trying to build a reputation for myself at work. Besides that, I clean and decorate my apartment in my spare time, and try new recipies in the kitchen. It’s a pretty peaceful, quiet existence. Not the most exciting life, but for now it is what it is. I want to figure out how to have more fun and be more social, but I don’t know how to make new friends.

My dream life would have me going on late night trips to New York City to drink and party, or random overnight stays in Atlantic City over the weekend. How fun it would be to know people all over and be able to take on such adventures. I’d love that. That’s what I want in my life: spontaneity.

“Catch My Breath”

I don’t wanna be left behind
Distance was a friend of mine
Catching breath in a web of lies
I’ve spent most of my life
Riding waves, playing acrobat
Shadowboxing the other half
Learning how to react
I’ve spent most of my time

Catching my breath, letting it go,
turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life,
I won’t be told what’s supposed to be right
Catch my breath,
no one can hold me back, I ain’t got time for that
Catch my breath,
won’t let them get me down, it’s all so simple now

Addicted to the love I found
Heavy heart, now a weightless cloud
Making time for the ones that count
I’ll spend the rest of my time
Laughing hard with the windows down
Leaving footprints all over town
Keeping faith kinda comes around
I’ll spent the rest of my life

Catching my breath, letting it go,
turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life,
I won’t be told what’s supposed to be right
Catch my breath,
no one can hold me back, I ain’t got time for that
Catch my breath,
won’t let them get me down, it’s all so simple now

You help me see the beauty
in everything
Catching my breath, letting it go,
turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life,
I won’t be told what’s supposed to be right

Catching my breath, letting it go,
turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life,
I won’t be told what’s supposed to be right
Catch my breath!
Catch my breath, no one can hold me back,
I ain’t got time for that
Catch my breath,
won’t let them get me down, it’s all so simple now
(it’s all so simple now!)

Catching my breath, letting it go,
turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life,
I won’t be told it’s supposed to be right
Catch my breath!
Catch my breath, no one can hold me back,
I ain’t got time for that
Catch my breath
Catch my breath, won’t let them get me down,
it’s all so simple now