It arrives today, I’m so excited!
it’s bought and will arrive Tuesday, can’t wait to see what it’s like in the flesh!
i have flat, contract is sorted, deposit is paid, i’m going to live at university :D
apparently it’s quite dangerous, and i think i’m actually to claustrophobic to handle it.
Doing the course i want, at the university i want, got the accomodation i want yesterday, now i just have to find the best student back account, erughhh. Still, getting very excited to go now (:
It’s more of a scrap shoe box, but it does the job and i quite like things not being stuck down. i might separate my gig/event tickets and put them in a book though.
i’ve got the money saved so when my friend is back from holiday i’ll ask him to find me one and then i’ll be a proud laptop owner :D
Got my grades and have finished my finance application! just working to save some money now, and then here i come :D
i have a lovely friend who is a massive computer geek and he’s promised to help find me the best laptop possible for my budget (: i no longer need to worry about looking! hurrah!
now i get lazy, i only practice maybe 4 times a week, and i’m slightly calm and less flexible as a result. i need to get more dedicated again.
1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
2. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
3. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
4. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
5. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
6. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
7. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
8. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
9. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
10. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
11. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
12. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
13. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
14. Tess Of The D’Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
15. Middlemarch, George Eliot
16. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
17. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
18. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
19. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
20. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
21. A town like Alice, Nevil Shute
22. Persuasion, Jane Austen
23. Dune, Frank Herbert
24. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
25. The Great Gatsby, Scott Fitzgerald
26. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
27. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
28. Animal Farm, George Orwell
29. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
30. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
31. The Stand, Stephen King
32. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
33. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
34. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
35. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
36. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
37. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
38. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
39. Mort, Terry Pratchett
40. The Magus, John Fowles
41. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
42. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
43. Perfume, Patrick Süskind
44. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
45. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
46. Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding
47. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
48. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
49. Ulysses, James Joyce
50. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
51. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
52. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
53. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
54. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
55. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
56. Magician, Raymond E Feist
57. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
58. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
59. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
60. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
61. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
62. Katherine, Anya Seton
63. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
64. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
65. Midnight’s Children, Salman Rushdie
she’s talking to her sponsor because she’s not sure she’s ready,, but even if she says no i’m so proud i asked, and i’ll just take it as a sigh i should wait till i move to find one (:
i just need to get my grades in the next 7 weeks and finish my finance application!
it would make my life sooo much easier, but i just can’t see myself wanting to be with anyone else. i’m happier on my own with how he is at the moment, so i think it’s best if i focus on what i’m doing, he focuses on recovery, and in a years time when he’s better, and will be able to contribute something to a relationship we’ll see what we want. if he’ll just have this damn conversation with me that is.
“In any relationship, two halves don’t make a whole. Two wholes make a whole.”
- Jo Coudert
realised i haven’t really got step 3, letting go is not my strong point, so i’ll hopefully eventually work up to step 4.
i really want to punch him. he’s driving me crazy and i’m starting to wonder where i need to draw the line and say actually enough is enough, i don’t care what’s going on in your life, it doesn’t justify the way you’re treating me. if i don’t bloody love him i’d be gone and life would be much easier. but then he’s really trying, and maybe things will get better and he’ll make me happy again.
i’ll go to 2 more meetings and then i’ll announce to the group that i’m looking for a sponsor. it’s quite nerve racking, but i really need someone to go through step 4 and 5 with me, and to support my continuing recovery. i also can’t expect Ben to go through the ordeal and fear of finding a sponsor if i’m too cowardly. hopefully he’ll try harder to find one if he can see me get one and see it helping me find serenity.
i’m trying to sort out my finance and it’s a nightmare! it’ll be so worth it though!