Talked to the boss yesterday and he’s structured our new organization so that I can stay retired, which surprised me. But he based it on hiring someone I know, who I really think will not want the job, so, I’m not sure how I feel about all of this. At all.
I got home from work today mid-afternoon after running a couple of errands for the office. I opened my front door and felt so content to be in my own modest home, with my little dog dancing at my feet. It was cool inside and relatively neat, quiet, and very much mine. I felt gratitude that I have this to come home to. I was pleased to have stopped – for the second time in one week – at the library and found a book I have wanted to read. I was aware that my life is very much as I have made it and it is good.
I have 5 or 6 grants hanging and must take care of the jellybeanie in the morning. Later I must head to the office to confer with the boss. No time tomorrow for pottery or books!
My daughter told me that today as she was driving the granbeanie to my house the jellybeanie was saying “happy, happy” My daughter asked her what made her “happy, happy” and she said, “Bean Bean” (her name for me). Guess who’s happy happy now?
The granbeanie and I, (by extension), were the recipients of an honest-to-goodness random act of kindness! We were in the crafts store and I was talking to her, telling her how to figure percentages so she would know how much some beads cost when they are 30% off. I asked her, “Each one costs $2.00 less .60 so that would be how much?” She said that’s $1.40 and $1.40 and I asked her how much it would be together and she said $2.80. She had $3 to spend so with tax it worked out just right. Then this young woman stepped around the end of the aisle and said, “She is so smart and so fast. I’d like to buy those items for her!” So she did and also purchased a pretty little box and notepad for the granbeanie. Of course we thanked her but the real gift was that I got to explain the whole concept of random kindnesses and how, because we can never pay that young woman back, we have to pay it forward. Of course the granbeanie got it right away and said she will be looking for ways to pay it forward. Made my heart happy!
I’m still frustrated with my inability to do any real exercise. My SO suggested I try light weights with my arms. I’ve done them all week and the pain in my elbow is back. It’s not actually the elbow that’s the problem. It’s still my neck, but even these light (2 lb) weights appear to be too much. My left side is OK but now my right. I know that once the elbow begins hurting I have to stop. Argh.
My boss basically wants me to come out of retirement. I think I may be able to swing a sweet deal that will give me a substantial raise and flexible, work-at-home hours. If so, I’ll be tempted to take it. I’ll post more details if this happens. It all depends on a deal with another organization that would take our group national.
The shower curtain that was stained yesterday is like new today! Yay! I don’t need a new one. And it’s so white! For anyone with stubborn stains such as mildew, sweat, or generally grey stuff, try this: using hot water add bleach so that you have about 1 cup of bleach to every 2 gallons of water If your item is small use at least 1 cup of bleach even if the water is only 1 gallon. Then, using liquid dishwasher detergent, squirt some on the stains and work in with a brush. Let soak a couple of hours at least. Agitate every now and then. Rinse well or put through regular wash cycle in washer. I use this when simply adding bleach to the regular wash does not get out the stains. It works best, obviously, on all white things. It will affect colors, so best to use something else on those.
I’ve already put in most of my hours for this week, have to meet my boss tomorrow for a meeting and on Saturday there’s an event at which I need to put in an appearance. Other than that, I’m done for the week! So what am I doing? I called my daughter and we went to lunch with the Jellybeanie. That was fun. On the way home I stopped at the library and browsed the best sellers and found a couple I’ve been anxious to read. Then I cut back my bamboo and dragged it to the curb for p/u tomorrow. I washed my shower curtain but I think I just need a new one. I use heavy sailcloth, plain white, so I can bleach it but the mildew stain did not come out in the wash. So I’m trying my soak and if that doesn’t work, I’ll get a new one. It’s been about 10 years so I guess I’m due. But I’m trying to stay out of the stores until my income picks up next month. Now, I’m going to kick back with one of my new books while the curtain soaks. Later I’ll take a late afternoon bath (formerly a weekend-only luxury) and then I’ll make a little dinner. There’s nothing good on TV tonight so I’ll work on the cookbook a bit.
Have I mentioned that I’m loving this retirement thing?
I somehow misplaced my water bill and just found it at 4:50 today. Of course it’s due TODAY. So I’ll pay it tomorrow and will pay an additional $4. I hate it when I do that!
I moved all the clay out of it. I’m slowly reconditioning my slop bucket. I must buy some new clay but that will have to wait until late June. I use clay at a much faster rate than I can recondition it!
I know what I have to do and I think I am ready to do it. I managed to lose more than 10 pounds with the 5:2 fast and I will obviously stay there if I continue as I am, and maybe even lose a little more. But I’d like to get to 125 or 120 and for that I think I will have to manage my non-fast days better. I can do this, especially now that I have more time (read: freedom) to manage my time. Ironically, I find it easier to fast while at the office. No chance of grazing there!
Call about a refinance. I’m not at all sure I want to do this but I do want to at least know what my options are.
Work on the grants
Work on the outline
Return calls
Make a menu/list
Mark calendar for fast days
Work on the cookbook
Get the novel back out
Drop by the beanies
Water the garden
recondition some clay
Mom was a very private person. She didn’t talk about how she felt, what was past, or things like motivations; she just kept on. These things I know: Her father was abusive and mean, her mother was a cupcake, she was closest to her sister, Kate and estranged from her sister, Vera. She could be impatient and dismissive or kind and patient, especially with babies and new mothers. She had no use for most men. She was independent, a hard worker, a voracious reader, a good seamstress and ultimately a very pragmatic woman. She understood more than she talked about and knew when to keep quiet. She was often a pain, sometimes a lifesaver, and occasionally quite charming. She could do the Charleston and the Cha-Cha and I think she had some fun as a young woman. She loved San Francisco, Germany and the mountains in the West. She had great legs and was highly photogenic as a young woman. She drank her coffee with milk, not cream and loved to have a sweet with it. She ate only butter, never margarine. She smoked but quit cold when it offended her.
She was my root and my sheltering branch and I miss her.
I’m either turning into a bad person or a sane one. I’m not sure which. My charge did not get released from the hospital today but she did call me hourly, crying, complaining, in pain, in need of a cigarette. At 9 pm she wanted me to go to the store, buy nicotine gum and bring it to her. I said no. I am unwilling to park in those empty parking decks at night and walk two blocks to give her a fix. I told her so. I stayed home all day to be available for her. I walked her dog. I rummaged through her things to find her wallet for her. I changed cars with my SO so I could fit her wheelchair in with her. I’m done.
