Rode an elephant, fed a baby tiger, drove through the jungle.. what else could one ask for? :)
The General Manager of my company left yesterday. I was shocked when I heard the news. I just can’t believe he would leave us. He was my first boss. We have been working together for over two years. He’s 12 years older than me but he’s so active, so spontaneous and funny. He’s also very talented and creative. He treated me very nice and always appreciated me and gave me compliments. He trusted me enough to send me for the final approval of an important contract the third months when I entered the company. I respect him and perhaps also am afraid of him a bit. He’s one of the two reasons why I still stay in this company. He’s not just a boss, but also a friend and a strict brother. When I learnt he left I became very sad. I tried very hard not to cry because it would be too embarrassing to cry in the office! I felt like the only one who was sad. Everyone seemed okay with that… Why am I the only one who care? When I got home I had a good cry. I don’t know why the hell I always cry for everything. He probably forgot but I remember clearly that he asked me to stay in his team for ten years. Now he’s the one who quit! I felt so angry and sad at the same time. I guess I also felt being abandoned a bit…
I went to meet O last night. He’s leaving here forever. I haven’t met him for a long time. I thought I was okay with him leaving, but no I was wrong. I almost cried when we hugged goodbye. I don’t know why I always get too attached so easily. Not just in relationships, friendships, but also with animals and everything.. My manager talked with me the next day. She knew I was sad about my boss leaving, but she told me I should see it as a classmate graduated from school. “You can’t keep a person around just because you want them to stay with you. One day they will leave and what you should do is smile and wish them best.” I know she’s right. But I guess I can never get used to goodbyes.
1. Getting ready for Thailand trip
2. Sleep before 11
3. Finish reading Eat Pray Love
Last week’s goals:
1. Study German ✗
2. Running (at least three times this week) ✓
3. Finish reading the book I borrowed from my friend ✓
4. Study C++ ✓
5. No TV & manga this week ✓
6. Watch some documentaries ✓
The company organized a two-days tour to Mt Wuyi. The trip was nice but very tiring. I didn’t sleep well at all. But it was all worthwhile when I saw the incredible scenery in the mountains. The cliffs and waters were outstanding. I even saw a couple of hanging coffins! The best experience would be climbing one of the mountains. I was so afraid of falling when climbing the steep mountain.We were lucky that the rain stopped when we arrived. Otherwise it would be more difficult to climb the mountain. I was proud of myself when I made it to the top. My fear of height didn’t stop me from climbing it! The view was simply breathtaking. I felt a wave of happiness. I’m so grateful for life :)
I dreamt of my uncle last night. Well I didn’t dream of him. I dreamt of my cousin and his son. In the dream, they were sick but couldn’t find a way to cure it. I was very worried, desperate and hopeless. It felt like I was my uncle in the dream, worrying about his son and grandchild but couldn’t do anything about it. I also felt as though he was asking me to take care of them. I don’t know.. I guess I just really miss him. It’s been one year exactly since he passed away. I still can’t believe he was gone. When I close my eyes, I can still see that night when he passed away. He was so skinny that I could barely recognize him. I wish I could touch him again. I wish he was still here. He had the warmest smile and the most gentle voice. But now my memory is the only place where he exists.
1. Study German
2. Running (at least three times this week)
3. Finish reading the book I borrowed from my friend
4. Study C++
5. No TV & manga this week
6. Watch some documentaries
Last week’s goals:
1. Study German every day ✗
2. Running at least 5 times this week ✗
3. Study C++ ✓
4. Cook this weekend ✓
5. Read every night before going to bed ✓
6. Make henna tattoo ✓
A gloomy week. The weather was terrible. I had to stop running because of the rainstorm. My mood was also affected. I was emotional and stressful. I didn’t feel like doing anything at all. This has to change this week.
I made my second henna tattoo yesterday. It looked awesome when I still got henna on my hand. But now it just looks weird! It looks like I have some dark red stain on my hands. My parents said it’s ugly.. My sister said it looks super scary.. I found peopel staring at my hands all the time…. No one knows what henna is.. It was stupid. I didn’t know my henna could last so long. I made one last time but it faded the next day. But last time I didn’t leave henna on my hands for so long and it was only a small flower anyway. It would help if my henna was nice but my design wasn’t really that good as I made it only for fun. I didn’t have any design on mind . My hand was shaking when I tried to apply henna on my skin too. I can only image what my manager and colleagues would say today when I’m at work.. I know I shouldn’t be bothered by what people think of it, but it’s just quite discouraging when everybody disagrees with you.
1. Study German every day
2. Running at least 5 times this week
3. Study C++
4. Cook this weekend
5. Read every night before going to bed
6. Make henna tattoo
Last week’s goals:
1. Study German every day ✗
2. Running at least 5 times this week ✓
3. Finish my Thailand plan ✓
4. Meet my skill exchange partner ✓
5. Read every night before going to bed ✓
Not a very productive week. I didn’t really do any Germany study :( Running was good. But the last two runs were really bad. I don’t know if it was the hot weather, I got extremely tiring after the exercise. The best thing may be that I learnt something about C++. I want to learn more :)
I met my skill exchange partner today! He’s going to teach me C++ and in return I will teach him English. I already met him once and the meeting was quite good. Today he was going to help me install Visual Studio but turned out my laptop was too old for it.. He found me an older version of Visual Studio and it works fine on my laptop. After many attempts I finally wrote my first C++ program! It was super simple but still took me almost an hour to finally get it runned. I was soo happy when that little black box poped out on my screen! :)
I’m scared that I will never fall in love again. I’m scared that I will never find someone who will understand me and appreciate me. I’m scared that I will never get what I want. I’m scared that I will end up being alone.
For the first time of my life, I truly enjoyed running! There’s something amazing about spreading your wings and soaring like an eagle.
:)
1. Study German every day
2. Running at least 5 times this week
3. Finish my Thailand plan
4. Meet my skill exchange partner
5. Read every night before going to bed
Last week’s goals:
1. Start German study ✓
2. Running every day ✗
3. Plan my trips to Thailand ✓
4. Practice ukulele ✗
5. Don’t watch any TV shows this week ✓
6. Read every night ✗
7. Go to bed before 11pm ✗
8. Play badminton this weekend ✓
9. Cook this weekend ✗
10. Study photoshop ✗
I started my German study again! I stopped studying it for a while so I had to start from the beginning again!! I haven’t finished the reviewing, hopefully it will be done this week. I tried to run every day too. I think I skipped two days due to the rain. One thing I learnt from last week is that it might be better to determine my priorities and only list a few important goals. I wrote down ten goals last week but only six of them were met.. It’s pretty ambitious to have so many goals listed down but it’s not helpful at all. It only gets me distracted. But let’s hope for a better week :)
I would like to watch you sleeping,
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you,
sleeping. I would like to sleep
with you, to enter
your sleep as its smooth dark wave
slides over my head
and walk with you through that lucent
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves
with its watery sun & three moons
towards the cave where you must descend,
towards your worst fear
I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center. I would like to follow
you up the long stairway
again & become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands
to where your body lies
beside me, and you enter
it as easily as breathing in
I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.
Margaret Atwood
Last night I made a simple hoop art. I felt very happy when I was doing it. I just love playing with fabric and sewing. I wish I had more materials but oh well I can always make something out of the little collections. The hoop art only took me about 20 mins and I enjoyed every minutes of it! I’m gonna use it as an idea board and a source of inspiration :)
1. Start German study
2. Running every day
3. Plan my trips to Thailand
4. Practice ukulele
5. Don’t watch any TV shows this week
6. Read every night
7. Go to bed before 11pm
8. Play badminton this weekend
9. Cook this weekend
10. Study photoshop
Last week’s goal:
1. Start running again ✓
2. Start German study ✗
3. Practice ukulele ✗
4. Plan my trip to Thailand ✓
5. Stretch every night ✓
Last week was a good week. My motivation came back and I started to get active again. The greatest achievement of last week would be the start of running! The first day was a torture. My body felt really heavy and energyless. I almost wanted to go home.. I’m just so glad that I didn’t give up. After a couple days, I began to look forward to it.. Today was the fifth day since I started running. I noticed it’s getting easier and my body felt very light. I just wanted to jump and run. It was amazing.. I feel like a bird! :P It’s an effort to go out the door, but when you do, you’re weightless and in the end, you’re wrung out. It’s a nice feeling :)
I still haven’t started my Germany study :( It’s hard to pick up the book again after such a long time.. Maybe I should listen to the audio while running?
The weather starts getting hot. But I don’t mind because I got my new shorts, new running shoes and my kawaii fan :)
Today I bought a cupcake for my friend :) I didn’t know what cupcakes were until I saw the American show 2 Broke Girls. Some places started to sell cupcakes as the show is getting popular here. A few weeks ago I found the German bakery in my town was selling cupcakes. I decided to buy some for my friends. Today I went to that area but sadly I couldn’t find the bakery.. But fortunately a Cafe nearby sells home-made cupcakes too! They only had one left so I got it and brought it to my friend’s workplace. The cupcake looked sooo pretty! I had to stop myself from biting it. My friend was surprised when she saw me there. She couldn’t talk with me though because she was very busy today. I had to give it to the sercurity guard and asked him to give the cupcake to my friend. She texted me later tonight telling me how she loved the cupcake! It was her first time had a cupcake :P I didn’t have the chance to taste it because it was the last one in the Cafe. I wish I could see how it taste but it’s okay I will go there next time. And I’m happy because the cupcake made my friend happy :P
I ran into a friend from high school a couple days ago. She looked so exhausted and sad. When I asked how she had been, she told me she just broke up with her bf.. I was in a hurry to meet another friend so I couldn’t stay long talking with her. She looked like she needed some company. I felt quite sad for her. She was so happy the last time I saw her. I think I will organize a reunion soon. I hope this will cheer her up :)
1. Start running again
2. Start German study
3. Practice ukulele
4. Plan my trip to Thailand
5. Stretch every night
“I’m kind of pretty, and pretty damn smart. I like romantic things like music and art. And, as you know, I’ve got a gigantic heart! So why don’t I have a boyfriend?”
I guess I should stay positive and have hope that I will find love again.
Dear Cupid, I’m here.♥
I will be going to Hong Kong and Macau in May and Thailand in June! Unfortunately I have to cancel Chiang Mai because we don’t have enough time.. We will mainly stay in Bangkok and Koh Samui. I’m so excited!! :-)
