I'm doing 4 things

rhianled's Life List

  1. 1. become anorexic
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    3,823 people
  2. 2. im stuck in the past!!!
    1 entry
    1 person
  3. 3. i need to be anorexic
    1 cheer
    2 people
  4. 4. become thin
    293 people
Recent entries
im stuck in the past!!!

im stuck in the past which makes me affraid of my life, where a massive arguemtn ahppened myears ago which made my sister run away and my father broke my mams arm and he beat me and my sisters up and wel my mam has divorced my father and my sister have moved out and my mam cant afford me so im livin with my father…but the thing is i feel lk shit i mean my father can be lovel but i always get flash backs of why my siter moved out and its constantly stuck in my head of my wakin uyp wif 2 black eyes and a dislocated shoulder and my sister wif bruises all over her body and hand marks rwnd her neck and being affraid to go down stairs to let our other sister in the house wel it sticks in my mind cause my father is drinkin and smokin agen which makes his agressive and all my family are sayin hes goin bak to the way that he was before and its shit scarin me wtf am i suppiost to do i meen i love him and i lied wen i was younger so he wuldnt go to prison which made my sister look like a liar but naw im wishin i hadnt lied cause maybe wed stiull be a happy family and i wouldnt constantly be shittin myself i seriously need help sum1 plz give me adivse i want a couciler but im affraidf they’ll spill that i lied years ago:|

become anorexic
i seriously need help!!!

when i was little i was always the skinniest person in my year but over the years the weight piled on n i cnt seem 2 get rid ofit i mean no matter how hard i try it wont shift, i also feel lk im losing every1 tho i meen my mam has jsut moved out 1 of my best friends have moved 2 northampton and my favorite cuz is forbidden 2 see me cause he’s the only person who can cheer me up its so unfair but in the bak of my mind i fell that if im skinny they’ll all cum bak, its the reason im fat that they have gone n 1 of my cloests friends stacey has moved 2 soo i am always cryin but thats behind closed doors wen it comes 2 people bein around me i hide behind my smile ive bn called beachwhale once sum1 has even asked me that wen i sit down do i bounce i dont get bullied cause im fat i mean people think “awww yh look thats rhian shes soo confident about hersefl i wish i was lk that!” well it aint true im soo self concious its unbelieveable i mean i see friends from my old class and they always seem 2 be laffin when they see me n i never know if they’re laffin with me or at me and its like my friend stacey now ive moved classes its lk she dont want to known me uno tryna loose weight is the only thing that keeps me goin in this world its lk im actin 2 mke every1 fink i am confident i h8 bein the way i am i mean i wont even have my belly button pierced as i feel im too fat half the time i feel like brakein down and cryin n most the time i do i cant take it no more n i have had soo many lectures off family and friends to stop sayin sayin i wnt 2 be anorexic n all the harm it does to ur body and well i dont care i want to be anorexic n im not askin for any1s opinion if its a bad 1 i dont wnt ur abuse but if any1 has any advice or tips i would really appreciate it thanku
rhian-ledd …x


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