rizzycakes

Starting today, I’m going to forget about myself, set aside my doubts, my fears, swallow them whole.. so you can be you.

I’m going to try to trust you more, even if it means trusting myself less.

I’m going to give you what you need, even if it means I have to forget mine.

I’m going to do everything you ask of me

..and hope that perhaps by doing these, you would start trusting me with all of you, too. :(

+ + +

Sometimes I wonder if you still care about me the way I care about you.

Why? :(

Why aren’t you looking for me the way I’m crazy obsessed about hearing from you? :(

No texts. No replies. 26 hours and counting. :(

I glance at my phone every 5 minutes, and nothing. :(

Please tell me it’s not over yet. :(

Tonight, a defining moment.

You woke from your sleep, came to me, and hugged me tight.. just like you always do when you wake up in the middle of the night.

And then, arms still wrapped around, I realized you were shaking and crying.

You said you dreamt that I died, and it felt so real.

I hugged you tight and assured you that I’m okay, that I’m not dying, that I’m not going anywhere.

You said you don’t want to lose me ever.

I said I’ll always be here.

I’ve never seen you cry as much as you did tonight. And seeing how you cried over the thought of losing me made me tear up myself, knowing I’d feel the same way if I lose you.

You’re right. Maybe this was God’s way of reminding us both to appreciate love, and each other, and this wonderful opportunity of being together.

I’ll always remember this night.