road2recovery

Today went well. Ate 3 healthy controlled meals and didnt feel the urge to binge. It usually comes when im very hungry or upset. When i start to get VERY hungry i now have something healthy which seems to be working. Sometimes it feels like its all or nothing.. or at least it has in the past. Like i can go most of the day or a whole day without eating and be fine or else i am stuffing my face. What i REALLY want right now is to have “normal” feelings towards food. If i do decide to eat a pizza one day i want to really be able to stop when i am full.. not carry on until i am stuffed and feel sick. Anyway dont want to focus on the negative.. things are looking up

This has really ruined my life. And i feel so pathetic in sayin that i dont have control over it. All i want is to feel normal again. I am so insecure and have gained 7kgs in the last year from binge eating.

This really needs to end. I just want my dignity and self respect back. I have a aerious crush on this guy and will be seeing him at spring break in 5 weeks. i would love to try lose some weight by then but im sooooo scared that another episode occurs and i just end up gaining weight :(

i really really want this

ok i have about 7 kgs to lose.. but my main concern right now is that i have to get into a bikini in 5 weeks in front of my crush :( so if thats not motivation enough i dont know what is??
ok so this is my first post