rocks223

I graduated in August and have been tied down to a 4-year tennis scholarship in school but for the first time in my life I’m free with no obligations! I’ve been living in the same city my whole life and want to get out on my own and try something new. I want to grow and just do it, instead I have so many fears/worries holding me back, such as money, loneliess, homesickness, how long will I be gone, etc. But It keeps me at home, bitter about not trying these things that I want to do. I moved to Boston for 2 months but came back home because I felt guilty because I was away from my bf. I’ve been back home for 2 months now and still feel the desire to leave again, the relationship is also not working out so much and I regret my coming back home..so I think I need to just honor that and be confident in my ability to be independent and find a job in a new country. I am qualified for many things and am not worried about that, the fear of the unknown is powerful. I have a friend in Australia doing the exact same thing, simply exploring herself; perhaps I should take advantage of having someone over there I know in the same circumstances which may ease the transition for me. But I will never know unless I try.