rosymamacita

Researched some agents and made a list of 7 agents. Made some notes on why I want to send to them, ranging from I’ve been stalking them for years to they are looking for the exact literary themes that are in my book, to they love a half dozen of my most favorite authors, to they are latina and lived in the bronx. How many latina authors are writing urban fantasy?

And by the way, I need to take advantage of the kind of writing that is in style. It just so happens it what I am writing. They are ALL looking for my genre. Well not all, but loads of them. Sometimes I am gobsmacked that the world has caught up to my geeky obsession with fantasy.

I can do this.

1. Do I add a link (not imbedded, just text) to my online persona? Is being a long time blogger a bonus? Having large followings on social media?

2. Do agents want to know about my extra-literary artistic talents? Does being an artist improve my chances of being published?

3. I think I forgot to say that this book is the first in a planned trilogy, which is pretty standard for the genre I think.

4. Would they want to hear that I have a science fiction trilogy in draft form, also?

5. What about non-fiction? I’ve done a bit of writing on creativity and art, and had a chapter published in a book.

Dear Agent,
Twenty three year old Lola Noone just wants to live a normal life and find love. She threatens to leave her delusional and emotionally dependent mother unless they can settle down in New York City so she can become a kindergarten teacher. (A kindergarten teacher! Even she can’t believe it sometimes.) Charming drifter, Jones de la Guarda seemed like the perfect guy to fall head-over-heels in love with, until he abandons her at CBGBs to be attacked by punk singer El Lobo and his back up band /pack of werewolves. Lola barely escapes with her life, and Jones tells her an unbelievable tale of ancient gods, monsters, and the half human, half Lycan freaks, called Hybrids. Jones is a Hybrid, he tells her, and so is she. When she confronts her mother, she finds out that not only are all the delusions true, but her mother is the long lost, runaway princess of the werewolves, and the Lycans will stop at nothing to kill them… or worse. El Lobo tracks them down and Lola’s mother, the she-wolf, holds him off while Lola and Jones escape into the strange and compelling world of the hidden Hybrids. The Hybrids tell her to run, frightened by Lola’s burgeoning powers over them, and by a fatal prophecy, spoken by the reluctant prophet himself, Jones de la Guarda.
Lola’s dreams of living a normal life are dashed. She is not a normal girl. She never has been. When she comes to grips with the powerful blood flowing through her veins, though, she will make the decision to stop running. She will learn what it means to be Girl of Freaks.
Taking place over the course of one terrible night and set in a NYC shadow world of punks, freaks and squats, Girl of Freaks, is a xxxx word first person urban fantasy novel and will be my first published novel. I have a bachelor’s degree in English/Creative Writing from William Smith College and a master’s of teaching from The New School. I taught English in the New York City Public High Schools and have lead many creative writing and creativity workshops to both adults and teens.
[paragraph where I insert the reasons why I want them to represent me.]

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Rowena Murillo

I am now going to sit on this for a day or two before I decide whether it’s done or not. And then I will mark this goal as done.

On combining my two queries. It’s hard, but I can do it. I am worried about making it too long and unwieldy, but I can do what I can then test it out on people and see what they think. So all is good.

I say this to combat my internal demons who tend to squeak and squawk when I set down to actually DO something substantial.

I am working on my query.
I am working on my synopsis.
I am working on my sample pages.
I am working on my fifth draft of my novel.

I have functional drafts of all of these.

I could conceivably sit down and polish it all in a week, if I didn’t have to work at my day job, take care of my kids, or wrangle with my inner demons. I could finish the query, synopsis and sample pages in a day, I think.

Okay. So perhaps I need to start re-researching the literary agents, find out what they want and what they like and which might be the best fit for me. I already have my eye on a couple of people that I’ve been considering for, oh years. WTF is with my procrastination anyway?

I think I would like to get a list of 5 agents to look at first. I will probably look into New York agents first because I have connections there and know the area and if I wanted to go see them I could stay with my sister and see my family and friends, since it’s home. But I will not limit myself in the long run. Just to give myself a smaller pool to research.

I signed up to querytracker and have been looking at that a bit. I haven’t totally gotten into it, but I like what I see about the agent I’ve been eyeing. I have to figure out how to use it to track my queries. I did look at some sample queries that people put out for critique. I know when the query is not good because I can’t help making a rude noise and then I stop reading. I bet that’s what agents do.

But then I find queries that I keep reading. Sometimes they might be confusing or long winded but I can see something good. And then you watch people revise, and sometimes they lose what was initially interesting.

Hey, you know what? I can do this.

I’ve got one file of the first thousand words, which some agents ask for.

I need to put together a second file with the first five pages.

Perhaps I should also get together another file with five pages that are in the middle of the action, instead of just the beginning. A sample, rather than the first pages. I need to consider re-introducing the prologue. I think it adds a good contrast to the present day story, even though I took it out, thinking that it was too far from the action and too gimmicky… but it’s a genre book, and I think genre books are allowed some gimmicks.

What else do agents ask for? 20 pages? What does a partial consist of? I think I might be in trouble a bit if an agent asks for the whole thing, because I have not edited the last chapters very much at all. But then again, I’ve been told that you want to make sure that your novel is 85% done before sending it out. I think I am farther than that. It’s all there, it just needs to be tightened and polished and maybe insert a little depth and richness.

I’ve actually had a few beta readers, although not in its final draft form.

Why do I always feel like I am a beginner, when I am actually a lot closer to done?

I needed to collect all my files from my various spots (hard drive, cloud, email accounts, kindle) and put them all where I can get at them. As I did this, I realized that on my kindle, I already had a draft of my synopsis. That’s the whole book. Not part way.

I still would like to do a more in depth synopsis, dealing specifically with what happens in each chapter, but I have my synopsis, mostly.

Good news.

It turns out I am closer to my goals than I ever thought I was.

One good thing about doing things and leaving them for months and/or years is that when I pick them up again, I have a good, distant perspective and can see what needs to be done.

Okay. Things are beginning to move forward again.

Now I just need to figure out where exactly I am in the process and get the momentum going again.

Oh and by the way, I have in depth synopses done all the way to chapter 5.

I would still like to revise the second half of the book. It has not gotten as much attention as the first half.

I guess we’re seeing why I’m not published. Damn you life getting in the way.

Anyway, I took my query format that I wrote in November, and sent the drafts to a friend to look at it. He liked them and offered a few suggestions to combine them. He pointed out which parts drew his attention and where I should keep some good information.

So I should work on editing that query and putting it together. It’s just two small pieces that need to be smoothed into one now. I have guidance and know what to do. Should not be difficult if I don’t make it difficult.

I still have to make invisible kool aid

I have to finish the mozz mushrooms. DD doesn’t like tomatoes, so I figured out a way to make plain mozz ones. I smashed pieces of cheese stick with the side of a knife and stuck the flat pieces on the top of a long piece of mozz… surprised that it actually looks like a mushroom. But must finish the half of the mushrooms that are tomato caps.

I also have to finish the targets. I kind of never did that. :(

I have to put the ribbons in the crowns

I want to set up the stuffed bunnies in a basket.

I have to find my camera. Where is my camera?

I probably should get going. I’m not even dressed yet.

What I’m trying to do is to not get so stressed out about it and not freak out. Because I get so nervous when i host. I’m starting to hate parties. grr.

Anyway, I’ve bought some party supplies, cups and plates and streamers. I bought a bunch of games for the adventure party. I made flower and leaf crowns for party hats. I’ve dropped the idea of a scavenger hunt, mainly because the 6yos have iffy reading skills and anything that is high maintenance is too stressful for me.

I made 14 mini tissue paper poofs for decor and favors. I made a dozen or so mini pocket stuffed animals, mostly bunnies but a could of kitties and some leftover owls from G’s last harry potter party.

I cut out a target out of a cardboard box and it needs to be spray painted with chalkboard paint. I’m going to make some hanging targets for the bow and arrow toys. My daughter says she wants bean bags to do a bean bag toss wtih. She also wants glitter playdoh. I tried making chocolate birds nest cookies and I messed it up, cooked the chocolate too fast and it seized up. poop. S has to go to the store and pick up all the crap for the food. Then I have to make all the food.

so, still to do today
Paint target box
cut out and paint hanging targets.
make little gift bags (sewing with scrap fabric is the plan)
make playdoh
make some tissue butterflies
make kiss/nilla wafer acorns
try to make birdsnests again

THAT IS NOT SO BAD

For tomorrow
make mozz/tom mushrooms
make bowls/nests out of paper lunch bags
make invisible koolaid
go to playground
set out tablecloths/food/treats
put up streamer tangled vines obstacle course
set up targets
set up fishing game.

okay, lowering stakes helps to keep me from getting anxious. the kids will play and eat. I’m ordering pizza even though it will be expensive i don’t care. I am not making lunch for everyone.

We delayed her birthday party though, because of timing, and then I got sick, so now it’s in a week and a half and I’ve been sick for most of the last month and i have a ton of things to do. I need to plan and think of all the things I need to do.

Food (things that look like what you would find in nature)
Cake- grandma
Gingerbread House candy bar- make cardboard gingerbread house, buy candy
Snacks- buy taro chips, make mozzarella/tomato mushrooms, birds nest cookies (chocolate, fried noodles, little candy eggs)
Flower Nectar aka Invisible Kool-Aid
Buy Pizza

Goodie Bags
Make miniature stuffed animals (maybe just a few and mix with stuffed owls made for G’s last Harry Potter birthday)
The candy from the Gingerbread House
Miniature bows/arrows out of popsicle sticks and qtips?
Wilderness crown with flowers and/or feathers (get cereal boxes, cut out strips, gesso, paint, decorate with flowers and feathers and glitter.)

Activities
Nature Hunt—print up scavenger hunt list
Bean Bag Toss—sew bean bags and cut out cardboard target
Fishing Game? cut out fishies, buy magnet tape, affix magnet tape to all the fishies, sticks/strings (maybe we just buy some activities, like nerf bow/arrows or fishing games)
Cup Stacking—buy cups, draw cup patterns
Pet Rock decorating.

Stuff I need to buy
straws
magnet tape
plastic cups
polyfil stuffing
more construction paper
decorative rocks/paint (is a playground a good place for arts and crafts? I think not. I think pet rocks will go from activity to goody bag)
outdoor activities (dollar store here I come)

Need to Make
crowns
stuffed bunnies
gingerbread house
paper flowers for decoration
paper butterflies for decoration

In January I started out so strong… committed to my art and writing and business. I set up systems and studios and was going gangbusters. Then February I started out okay, but things started to slip. I started letting up on the energy, there were a few disappointments. I let myself get taken up with my day job, which makes real money, and let myself off of my REAL job, which makes no to little money. :(

Then March hit and I was struck down with a flu of some sort that had me flat on my flat on my back for two weeks and feeling sorry for myself for one more week. Also relapsed.

I am not going boldly in the direction of my dreams. I am not living the life I’ve imagined. It’s more like I’m living the life George RR Martin imagined, not because I am in a medieval war zone, thankfully, but because whenever I am not dragging myself around to take care of the kids or working at my day job (which I can do from bed, thank god) I am reading the whole series of Game of Thrones. I’m on book five now.

Okay, point being, I’m not doing what I want to do. I’m not being who I want to be. I’m not living the life I want to live. Mofo frickingfracking dumbkopf life.

This sucks.

Woohoo. Someone made a treasury and included my print and it was timely and well done and the etsy folks featured it on the front page. Yeah baby.

I seem to be getting a lot of treasuries lately. That’s what happens when you list something new every day. It’s a struggle to keep up to my goal of listing two new things a day. Sometimes I get disgruntled with the paintings I’ve chosen to photograph and edit and file in my “to list” folder. I just don’t want to post them. Sometimes I feel like I’m running out of stuff. Maybe it’s time to do another photo shoot. Maybe it’s time to paint so more more pictures.

Anyway, I’m proud of my front page and I am also proud of the artistic company I am keeping. People are putting my prints in treasuries with some of the big gun artists on etsy. Yeah, I know maybe it doesn’t mean much, but it means to me that they think I am on a level with them. And if that’s so, then I must be on a level with them. Perhaps I am not such small potatoes.

Plus, yay me, I kept in contact with a chobani representative who promised to send me some yogurt for giving her boucoup hits when I pinned their chart. I thought the box went missing but she’d just given me the wrong date of arrival. Can’t wait to try out the yogurt in all my recipes. And I’m proud of myself for confronting biz deals gone awry. I also emailed the shoe company who promised shoes for my pin work and never delivered. Now I need to message the woman who commissioned a painting and has not bought it yet, although she said she’d pay before I painted it. She hasn’t. I painted it anyway because I was inspired. Now it’s sitting in my shop. And I’m a little worried. I’ll give her a bit more time.

But anyway, yay for front page and yay for being brave and doing things that make me uncomfortable.

That I set up my etsy shop to ship in 3-5 business days.

Between printing and packaging, making little gifts to go with the packages, occasional technical difficulties, and then mailing them, I find it takes me quite some time to put orders out. Especially if there are many orders. And I’m finding I’m getting many orders lately. (wow, still taking that in.)

Another unplanned difficulty about expanding my shop and selling more is that I run out of supplies much more often. Usually a package of mailers or backing boards would last me into infinity, now I find myself slowing my marketing efforts so I won’t get too many orders before my shipment of shipping supplies is delivered.

Same for the little gifties. I made a batch, now I’m out again. I also decorate and stamp the mailers, so lately, I’ve tried to do that ahead of time, but still I run out pretty often. I need to get more organized so I can keep on top of things. I need to set up an assembly line so I can take care of batches at once, where I used to do each gift and mailer and tag on an individual basis.

This is what it means to run a business. I am learning a lot.

For the first time, I listed one of my tiny watercolor landscapes of nyc. It’s the painting of the sunset on the elevated train station up in the bronx. It isn’t the kind of work I did with the flying girl or the portraits… but it is where that work is from.

It took some bravery to list something that old, but the truth is, I love this piece. I am attached to it. It is very meaningful to me and I had it framed on my walls for years. I posted it to fb and at least one of my friends remembered it. It’s almost 20 years old. I think I did it in 96.

It is a crazy thing to think that in expanding my shop, I don’t have to always develop new material, I can pull on old stuff, stuff that made me who I am. Now I’m wondering about some of the larger stuff I had. Portraits and such. Well, self portraits. How do I feel about selling self portraits on etsy? Is it weird to sell yourself?

Also a thought, my uncle, who has spent years working on photography, says that he has a large format printer that I can use if I want to sell larger prints.

Talk about expanding. For many years it has been a challenge for me to paint bigger, and I’ve never actually gotten all the way to the point where I could accept this challenge. If I want to sell large prints, I am going to have to upgrade my packaging materials, not just the printer.

Expanding the shop, you see, is also about expanding myself, my expectations, my goals, my actions.

Getting bigger, metaphorically and literally, is a journey.

to mark the successes.

I’ve already said how I have gotten this job working with a marketing company. Yay! Even if I’m beginning to think the high numbers I earned over the weekend might not be the regular numbers. But the low numbers weren’t that bad, so I am satisfied.

But, another success I had today, just today, is, well, before lunch, I listed one new painting and pinned it and two others to pinterest.

Ladies and gentlemen, when I got back online after 2pm I discovered that I had sold all three prints. Yay! I immediately relisted them, in case anyone else wanted to buy one.

I feel like I did that. I didn’t leave it up to chance and maybe someone would stumble upon it. I put myself out there and it paid off. It doesn’t always. There are some prints in my shop that have never sold a copy. Maybe I should reconsider them. Anyone. I felt good. It felt good to have such a direct, immediate result of my efforts.

It’s that, more than selling a print, that really makes me feel like I accomplished something. Taking productive action. Working hard and having the work pay off, because we all know how it doesn’t always work that way. But it’s starting to for me. Lawsy. I barely know how to deal with it.

It is risky.

What if it doesn’t work out? What if you fail? What if you are not well received? What if you’re just not good enough? What then? What do you do when you’ve reached the end of your dreams?

Well, I guess you get new dreams. Lord knows I have enough dreams in my life. In fact sometimes I feel that I can’t accomplish my dreams because I am spread too thin between all my dreams. What happens if I can’t make it as a writer? I guess I can try to make it as an artist. What happens if I can’t make it as an artist? I guess I can try to make it as a creativity coach and teacher. What happens if I can’t make it as a creativity coach and teacher? I guess I can try to make it as a crafter with a shop. What if I can’t make it as a craftswoman? I guess I can go back to being a teacher which I loved but was really hard on me. What if being a teacher is too draining on me? I guess I can keep going with this marketing thing and keep the artsy fartsy stuff on the side. What if the marketing thing doesn’t work out in the end? Hell, I can go back to school and become a librarian. I’ve recently realized that my life long love affair with books and organizing and helping people could actually be fulfilled as a librarian. I started working in libraries when I was 14. I don’t know why I was afraid to be a librarian. And I’d still be able to help people and learn new things, but I wouldn’t freak out because the people I was helping didn’t want to be helped even though THIS COULD DECIDE THE COURSE OF THEIR LIVES and I cared more than they did (this is my problem with teaching. I often cared more than some of the kids.)

Wow. So it’s okay if I fail. I have a million back up plans. A million beautiful dreams to aim for. None of which actually require me to be a pretty young thang.

But what if I succeed?

I think this is part of the fear.

What if I succeed at the big dream of being a novelist and I have people watching me from now on, reading my books, ACTUALLY READING MY BOOKS, and judging me, how well I write, where I fail, depending on me to write the next one, telling me I’m not good enough or should be better or should be different or whatever?

What if I succeed and the success doesn’t make me happy. What if it turns out to be harder than I expected? Or there is some aspect of it that doesn’t work with who I am (like with teaching and my tendency to pour everything I was into it until I was drained)? Or the success I have isn’t really enough to live the life I want to live. Or it doesn’t open the doors that I thought it would? Or for some reason I get published and it works out but I am never able to live up to my success and can’t write again. Or I end up on the remainder table, an also ran? Or I get panned in the reviews and everyone hates me? Or I get great reviews and still no one buys my books? Or I get one book published and that’s it. I’m an author without a career.

See? Scary.

Oh well. I guess the thing about bravery is you do a thing even though you are scared.

I have to get back to facing my book, even though I am scared and it is tough. It’s actually getting tougher because I am experiencing some success in other areas, so it is easier to give my energy to those things, rather than work on that scary book with unknown prospects.

Sigh.

Well. Choosing to follow your dreams means you also have to give up other things.

What do I need to give up in order to be a writer.

One thing is hiding from my fears and demons.

Gotta give it up. Gotta keep going even though I’m afraid.

And it’s a big accomplishment.

I’ve kind of gotten a job. But it’s not a real job. Except it is.

So…

I’m a pretty big deal on pinterest. I have a huge following and have been trying to work that following into a way to make money. I’m working on my shop and marketing my artwork on pinterest… and I’ve actually managed to start selling ten times what I used to sell. (haha. I just had an email notice pop up on my screen telling me I just sold a print. :)) BUT pretty little art prints aren’t really the way to fame and wealth. Or even the way to a stable income. I would have to sell 20 prints a week just to squeak by, really… and I’m happy to be selling 5 or 6.

Ok. First let me give my etsy art print selling it’s due.

YAY! I am selling on etsy! OMG, I’m actually selling regularly. People want my little paintings! I did it! I managed to pull together my product (which I’ve been working on for years, if not decades) with my pinterest audience and stopped being so squeamish about selling myself. YOU GO GIRL. That is quite the accomplishment.

Yay me.

Ok. I am proud.

Now moving on. It’s still not enough to earn a living, enter that there job I was talking about.

I finally got brave enough to respond to one of those offers I’ve been getting in my email. People randomly email me and ask if I want to pin their stuff for money or shoes or whatever.

Except this time it was a major company and they asked if I wanted to pin for their marketing company. They would represent me and I would pin from the shops that they work for. So I said yes I’d try it. And I talked to the agents on the phone and started doing this.

And holy crap. It’s working out. I’m following their process and actually making money. Like, ENOUGH money to get by. At this point, it’s still pretend money, because they only pay once a month, so I’ll get a lump sum, and the pretend money aspect means I am in danger of not really accepting that it’s true. This is why I’m writing about it here. I’m not really ready to talk about it much irl yet.

I think it’s going to work out. I think I don’t have to be a starving artist/waitress/writer anymore. I think. Unless it’s not as good as it seems, because it does seem to good to be true. It seems like the perfect dream job, where I get to work from home, work on my art and writing, be there when my kids get out of school or have sick days or school holidays. I don’t trust this, that’s it’s a perfect dream job, and it’s not hard either, although it’s harder than just pinning for fun. I’m trying to accept the good thing, even though I don’t believe it.

I’m finding it hard just to dominate this small corner of my world, called my head. I get scared and worried and obsessive and controlling and upset and negative and lose hope.

Perhaps I should stop trying to dominate the world, even in jest.

I’m starting to do internet marketing and it’s messing with my head. I used to think pinterest was just fun and I was free to pin what I wanted and not worry about stats or how many followers I had or how many repins I had. Now I’m freaking out about how to pin the marketing materials to my most popular board, which has ten times the number of followers as my other boards. :( My gut tells me I can’t pin clothes and furnishings to my fine art board. People are looking for my art taste. Of course most of the people who are following that board did not choose to follow me, it was the pinterest folks who thought my taste in art was something everyone should get the chance to see. But let’s say, oh 200k of those people trust my taste… am I screwing them over when I pin a rug to my art board? How many people pay any attention to categories anyway?

And then I’m worried that my marketing pins will take over my board, and take over my followers’ feeds and they will get sick of me and unfollow.

See. I don’t even want to dominate my followers pinterest feeds, how can I possibly plan to dominate the world?

Plus I haven’t made any money off of any of the marketing anyway. I sold some art in the last couple of weeks, art that I made. I did that. But the professional stuff? Nada. And I am pessimistic about this new marketing opportunity actually working out. Especially when they made me feel like I didn’t have that many followers, except for my million dollar baby (art board. 1.4 million followers. WTF)so then I started feeling insecure about having 170k-240k followers. LIke that wasn’t good and I wasn’t popular. May I repeat, WTF? I mean, hundreds of thousands of followers and I’m getting insecure.

Another problem is that my sales and my views for my etsy shop are down. They were going up all week, now they’re down. So I’m getting down and losing hope. Silly, I know. There are natural fluctuations and you have to keep trying and keep adding new things and keep going in new directions and never give up (unless you decide it’s not working anymore and you need to move on to something new).

I would prefer to have my life have absolutely no concern with money, marketing, sales, financial pressure, etc. But you know what happens when you have no concern with money et al.? You is POOR. And I don’t want to do that anymore, either. So I have to buck up and be brave, and step out boldly into this new world of commerce, marketing, business and money.

Sigh.

I don’t know what I’m doing.

^{(shh. don’t tell anyone.)}

I am listing two new prints or paintings every day in my shop. I have been doing so for about a week and a half.

This is simple, actually… well simple considering I’ve been working on it for years. Literally, some of these new listings are paintings I did years ago. I like being able to look through my portfolio and pull on my archives.

It also helps my stats to be adding two new listings every day and relisting or renewing two old ones. Four a day helps to keep me in the top of the search listings.

But this is not all I am doing. I am also working on revamping my facebook page. I list all the new work to the fb page and I just invited people to like the page, which I’d never done before because I’m generally a chicken and don’t like to put myself forward. But I don’t have a choice. If i want to sell work I have to.

I am also pinning each new listing to my pinterest boards, and trying to pin two old ones, also. I’m hoping four self promotional pins a day is not too many to burden my followers with.

What else am I doing? I donated a print to an eating disorder awareness auction in ohio. Remind me I have to print that out and send it to them. I am trying to do well by doing good.

In connection with that, my etsy guest pinner feature is going on this week, in which I shamed the etsy people into letting me pin a fine art heavy pin board. Well. you know. They agreed with me that fine art on etsy needed more play. I am proud of myself for putting myself forward like that and bringing new people to my shop, even though I featured not one of my own works in this board. But I can see that expanding my etsy shop is also about expanding my presence on line and in the world.

But I still get the heebie jeebies about putting myself out there. I feel like everyone will hate me or think I’m too big for my britches or really not that talented or have no right to be where I am. I also get really nervous that the moderate success I am having now (yes, I am having success right now. Real success. I’m not rich, but I’m selling and this is a success) will disappear or is actually a fluke or is unsustainable. What happens when the etsy feature is last week’s news? Will I fade back into obscurity?

My faith has been sorely tested the last few years.

Which is why I am also looking forward to see what else I can do. Pinterest, done. Etsy guest pinning, done. Facebook page, done. Listing new items, in progess. What is the next step?

I’m thinking I will go back to twitter, now that I have more time to focus.

I’m thinking that I will focus more on my workshop/inspiration/creativity type posts on my blog. I don’t know if this is a big way to draw people in, but I’m seeing that people want to be inspired. They want to DO. They don’t just want to buy. They want to see the way that they can LIVE the life they dream. They want to BE. They don’t just want to have stuff. So… with that in mind, what can I share with my readers and followers that can help them, inspire them, teach them, or show them the way to be who they want to be?

I’m going to take a deep breath and do my best with what I have. I’m going to follow the path that I’ve started down and keep doing the tasks I’ve set for myself. And then I’m going to trust my fate to the future and believe I can handle what comes next, success or obscurity, and I’m going to keep looking for ways that I can give to the world, because I have something to say, damn it. I have something to say.