rubycore

Found a boy
he likes me a lot
When I leave him
I feel like I could be a giant
my head sits very high
...I don’t know why
but he makes me feel taller, bigger, bolder
and loved

So I simply passed whatever was bugging my internal digestive ensemble to my new French lover. The day he said he felt the same rumbling in his tummy and sickness was the first day I felt amazing. The trick is, (I guess) to pass it on to someone you care for.

It’s still in the midst of the infatuation phase. I don’t love him but I think he’s a wonderful person. He’s perfect, in his own way. I can’t stand it. I know things will eventually turn into a relationship. With me giving a fu(k, hearts being broken, words being said, more perfect moments and then an unraveling. I’m a complex person and I have a lot of complexes, I’m not going anywhere and I know it. I’m chaotic and self destructive. I have to end things before they become too real. He doesn’t deserve to get involved, I’ll only hurt him deeper. I can’t get involved because I’m such a mess.