sabotagedbylife777

I get this feeling-like I’m in an endless forest of dead trees and graves, no nourishment, no cover or jacket. It begins to snow and there is no way out. It is Hell. I have no idea why I keep thinking about this, running around on crunchy leaves, absolutely no life, but it is awful. I’d really like to get rid of this feeling.

Started doing yoga earlier this year-it helped get rid of my back pain, stress and helped with posture—want to get into it again

Its been 6mo and I can barely live my life still. It wouldn’t have been so bad had it not been for an unsupportive family, financial problems and going from a happy go-lucky positive attitude to dealing with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Apparently it runs in my family along with severe depression. It was a happy relationship, until the bipolar symptoms came out. I had no idea who I was or what was going on. My family cut me off, and so did my ex. I was misdiagnosed and given medications that increased my insane symptoms. I was a superfocused social happy college student with a 4.0 and had to drop out this semester. Although I was still able to go to med school interviews, and sign up to graduate this summer, its been so hard putting a smile on my face everyday and putting my best foot forward. I loved him so much as well as his family, and no matter how much I have apologized, and explained to them that the medication had a huge effect on my personality at the time, they haven’t forgiven me. I feel that this goddamn disease has stolen everything from me. And although I am doing everything I can to not let it affect my life I have so much anger and depression over what has happened and what has been taken from me unwillingly.
I want to get over this someday and have some sort of understanding of what happened and why it is that I’ve had to suffer so much.