sabryn

While researching a question for work regarding menstrual cramps, I came across a list of causes for cramps. Which include the passage of clots, particularly through a narrow cervix.

Or through a cervix that doesn’t dilate, perhaps? Hm.

_{On a side, totally unrelated note, I can never spell “particularly” right on the first try. I always get stuck somewhere between the c and the second r. I don’t often have that problem with words – only numbers. Why that particular word is such a particular problem is interesting to me, though probably not indicative of…well, anything. Except that “particularly” could lose a few letters, IMHO.}

_{Yes, I’m overcaffeinated today. But that’s another goal…}

“To see things in their true proportion, to escape the magnifying influence of a morbid imagination, should be one of the chief aims of life.”
-The Map of Life, William Edward Hartpole Lecky

Oh, do I have problems with this. If things are bad now, things will be bad forever. If I am mad about one thing, everything is terrible. (I missed out on a couple of unseasonably awesome days this week because of that.) You get the idea.

Dealing with the bad spots is getting easier, though I do have my moments of Chicken-Littleness. However, dealing with anger is harder. I’ve allowed myself to get sucked into the mindset of social media: gloss over the rough spots and pump the positive crap, until I just snap from the pressure of pretending to ignore the things that are bothering me. Which is the emotional equivalent of blowing up a beach because I keep getting grains of sand in my shoe. Yes, those grains of sand can, over time, cause much damage. But it’s still overkill. Just as I have to find a way to deal with A’s tantrums (which are really getting out of hand lately), I must also find ways to deal with uncomfortable emotional situations. Put another way, I need to find a way to stand up for myself with my family without laying the anger smack-down on them. What they’re doing may be unacceptable, but my way of dealing with it is also unacceptable.

As part of my goal to measure what I’m accomplishing, here’s an update.

Get up an hour earlier.
Done. Actually, most mornings I’m getting up 2 hours early. Not that I get any yoga done in this time; instead, I’m freelancing for two hours before work. I’ll continue doing so until I get our finances stabilized, and maybe beyond that…we’ll see. It’s less painful than I thought it’d be, and fixes the issues I was having with my eating schedule.

Stop crossing my legs.
::looks down at crossed legs:: Um…

Brush and floss twice a day.
I’m flossing (most mornings) after breakfast; brushing at this time (and doing both every day) is my next goal.

Sleep. Like an adult, not like a newborn.
Got this one down. Anya sleeps through the night now, and I have no issues with going to bed on time anymore.

Do yoga every morning Exercise daily.
Let’s get real here. Luckily, I have a built-in exercise routine in Anya. Now if I could just squeeze in some ab work and a walk or two (once my foot heals).

Keep the house clean.
Cleanish, anyway. R is a big help these days, actually. Now if I could end the eating and drinking outside of the kitchen and get the laundry put away, I’d feel pretty good about this place. (I’ve lowered my standards, obvs.)

Put a little more effort into my skin.
Wash my face every morning. Wear sunscreen. Pluck my eyebrows at least twice a year. It’d take so little, really, if I’d just do it.