sacred




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eat no cheese for 14 days (read all 2 entries…)
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This is HARD! Everyday something cheesy comes across :( Maybe I should start with no cheese for 1 or 2 days. As I’ve had cheese today already, tomorrow will be 1 day without cheese (that’s the aim…)



picnic on the middle of a huge roundabout
but...

...it’s probably illegal. Or, that’s what my bf says. We have a huuuge roundabout in town, the middle is only grass, flowers and trees. It would be awesome to just sit there with some friends and have fun :) All ppl in cars would see us (which would be quite disturbing and dangerous and therefore illegal, i guess). It would be sooo cool.



forget about my bitchy stepmom and my stupid dad (read all 8 entries…)
another gig coming up

There’s another free gig coming up, so I called for my sister to ask if she wanted to come with me. My dad took the phone and I really did NOT feel like talking to him, so I just asked for my sister and didn’t talk with dad. He didn’t even mind, he didn’t even ask how I’m doing, I just asked for my sis and he gave her to me…. he didnt even mention the card I sent.

He’ll probably bring her to my place for the gig. I wonder what that meeting will be like. Will he be interested? Or will he take off quickly?

2 weeks.. let’s see



identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money) (read all 8 entries…)
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58. The first lambs of spring, running around and filling my heart with joy

59. music from the band ‘camel’



forget about my bitchy stepmom and my stupid dad (read all 8 entries…)
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I sent dad & stepmom a ‘happy easter card’. It’ll arrive next friday. So the waiting can start again.

Why does my dad not care at all about his own daughter!! My 2 sisters (real sisters, not step-) also found that dad’s not really into the father-daughter-relationship kinda stuff. That doesn’t matter, I think I wouldn’t even WANT him to come over often, but he could at least give me a ring (or send a card or e-mail) every now and then, or AT LEAST in response to my attempts to contact him!

Sometimes I tell myself not to send him anything anymore, he can just forget it. But I can’t, everytime I’m sending cards (I always do them all at the same time, when I send 1 to a friend, I send 1 to all my friends and family, just because I like to send cards and I know they like to receive cards :)) I just send him one too. I know I shouldn’t, but I also know that if I don’t, we have no contact at all.

OK, by this, I officially promise that the easter card was the last 1 I sent to my dad and my stepmom. I won’t contact them any more, not until they’ve contacted me.

This is hard…. Now I have to wait… probably for nothing.

My sister has a burn-out. I sent her a package with all ‘happy goodies’, like tea, seeds for flowers and plants, figs (she loves those) and home made chocolates. When she received the package, she was so happy and immediately called me to say thank you. It was so sweet that she called me :) but then I realised: that’s how normal family members react. My dad just isn’t normal. He’s stupid.



go to Norway on a Greenpeace boat to save the whales
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I probably have a way too romantic idea of this goal, I’m not even sure if I really want it, but it’s a symbol for that I really want to do something about cruelty towards animals, whether it’s on a GP boat or in another way…. I just feel so powerless when it comes to this point and I want the cruelty to STOP!



drink more (read all 3 entries…)
water...

At this moment I drink a lot of water. I have a .5 litre bottle which I fill 2 or 3 times a day, which makes 1.5 litres a day, and that’s just at work! so this goal is going well and quite easily, too!



Visit the UK (read all 2 entries…)
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Well it didn’t happen, we went to Maastricht (it’s ages ago now, but I now see I didn’t wrote it down here). But i still want to visit the UK once…



stay vegetarian forever
... and never be tempted to eat meat again!

Although at this moment i do not feel tempted by meat of any kind! Being vegetarian makes me feel strong, not only as a strong body but also a strong mind. being vegetarian is good for animals, nature, humans and ME :) it just makes me feel SO happy :)



get more energy
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Well, since I’m on scholarship I’m getting quite a pattern in sleeping. Off at 7 am each day, to bed at 10 pm each night. This structure is helping me more than I could ever imagine. I feel so much better now.
What also helps is good food. I know I get tired when i haven’t eaten well. So 3 meals a day for me!

it’s not like the energy is flowing, but it’s not as bad as it has been, so i think i can say i’m making some progress.



throw a 'hippy party'
birthday 23

Last autumn I threw a halloween party, we made pumpkins and pizza. For this summer (my birthday) I think i’d like a hippie party, with music from Camel (yayy!), friends in hippie clothes (if i could ever make them wear that crazy stuff), hippie food and sitting around in the grass (not th├ít kinda grass, you junkie! ) we could have a vegetarian barbeque, but thats not very hippie. we could create something (like the pumpkins at halloween, everyone liked that) like paintings, shirts, bags, flower-thingies…... any ideas anyone?



never lose the child in me
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My 22nd birthday has changed me. I got tattooed, something I’ve wanted all my life. And after that I did more things I’d always wanted, some very childish, others more serious. it made me come closer to myself, my inner child. I no longer care that much about what others might think. I now enjoy nature, animals, painting, eating, LIFE so much more…. no longer pretending, just be me, follow my instinct, follow strange impulses, do the things i like, and be positive… no more acting in a way i think others want me to act… just be ME! and it feels sooooo good!

the best of all were:
- in an impuls painting my room purple and blue
- becoming vegetarian
- being in love with nature in general so much more



identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money) (read all 8 entries…)
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45. when little animals, like birds or butterflies, come closer to me instead of flying away scared

46. little walks, like to the bus stop

47. french fries

48. dreaming away in fantasy stories like harry potter or lord of the rings

49. my mona lisa umbrella

50. sharing banana with my sweet hamster. not only do we both like the taste of it, but it’s also very healthy AND it looks sooo cute the way he eats! this also counts for water melon, cucumber, egg, peanuts and some more…

51. pretending i could sing like tarja turunen (and be as pretty as her, too)

52. listening to nightwish music in general

53. singing along with ensiferum ‘wisdoms of time are carved on the sacred wood’ :p

54. to get in contact with the child in me again

55. cherry tomatoes from the oven

56. toast with cheese and onions….. hmmm maybe I should quit naming food i like and just maken this one ‘nice food’. number 57 – 100 are from now on NOT allowed to be food!

57. watching wickie the viking and the young ones on DVD



design my own tattoo (read all 9 entries…)
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it has to be redone again… i don’t know if that’ll be for free like last time, i hope so but i’m not sure. I decided I won’t get any new tattoos until my first one is perfect and complete.

i decided i want it black now. last time the tattooist did it dark brown, but it ended up grey-ish. blah.

i’ll get my next tattoo at a local shop, so i don’t have to travel ages before i’m there.



Read "The Lord of the Rings" again (read all 2 entries…)
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I started the night I wrote the last entry… not in LOTR but Harry Potter!! hahaha… well, lotr is next i guess :p



get out of debt (read all 5 entries…)
it will grow... :(

I know my debt will grow. After this year of college, I won’t receive any money for my studies anymore, even though I haven’t finished college yet. So I’ll have to lend… again :( I just hope that after college, I’ll find a good job which helps me to pay it off in 5 years… I hate being in debt.

1 good point: I’m not a very big spender anymore :)



Read "The Lord of the Rings" again (read all 2 entries…)
The best book ever written

It’s on the shelf and every time I see it I long to lose myself again in this magical world. I can’t wait til summer until I have time to read it again. Or should I just start tonight?



spend less money (read all 4 entries…)
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Well, I haven’t been in the cheap shop for ages but now I’m in scholarship I’m passing by it every day. It’s not too good for the environment (I actually prefer biological food) but I guess I have no choice as from september this year I wont get study finances any more :( So back to the cheap stuff again! hopefully I’ll manage to keep going there this time.



Eat more fruits and vegetables (read all 6 entries…)
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I take vegetables with me to work almost every day now. So at lunch, I now have sandwiches AND some carrots or a piece of cucumber. This way I’ll get enough vitamins for sure :)



Enjoy Nature
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I’ve always lived in small towns until I was 20, when I moved out from my parents house to ‘the big city’. Well, it’s not that big, but it has everything I need: enough cool places for shopping, going out and… most of my friends live here, too. But now, since I’m on a scholarship, I found that I miss nature. Every day I travel by bus through a beautiful part of nature, and now I realise how much I’ve missed that. So my plan for this summer is to go there and ride around on my bike to enjoy the beauty of mother earth!



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