sadtomoveon

I was with him for 13 years. We were married for 8 and have a beautiful son together. I know in my head that we are not meant to be together but it is so hard for my heart to feel the same. He is my best friend and holds my past in the palm of his hand. The divorce will be signed by the judge this week and I will be divorced…the word makes me sick to my stomach. It took us 4 years to actually get the divorce…should I have gotten it? Was it the right thing to do? Did we do everything we could to try and fix our marriage? Maybe we gave up without a big enough fight. I am so sad and so unsure of where my life will be without him. This has to get easier because I don’t think I could handle anymore pain. I think the saddest part is all I wanted to hear him say was “I miss you and need you in my life” and in 4 years of being seperated he never said it….