saggit

I checked his online dating account to see if he’s reactivated it. It’s still deactivated as of today. I must say I feel relieved. It’s stupid to feel that way I know. What does it matter now? We’re no longer together. For all I know he probably has a different account on that website.

I’m slowly starting to accept the fact that he’s gone. We’re finished. The end. It still hurts and I still miss him a lot. I guess I feel really lonely. It’s Friday today. It’s sunny and warm but I’m sitting in my flat wondering if I can make it through the day. I cooked myself lunch today. I’ve decided to do something good for myself every day. Hope I have the strength to keep it up.

At my strongest I feel I can move on and I am actually happy that ended the relationship. At least I get to save my dignity. When someone is so unsure of his feelings for you, the best thing to do is walk away with dignity.

At my weakest I am a complete mess. I dream about him. I can’t concentrate. I feel suffocated and hurt. I miss him like crazy. I am not able to deal with any problems. I fantasize about him. I cry and cry and cry.

I’ve just re-read all the text messages he’s sent me. I wanted to find out what went wrong. I’m a fool I know. He was probabbly never that into me from the beginning. I keep trying to tell myself that it doesn’t matter what happened or why it happened. The fact is, he’s lost his feelings for me.

I miss him very much. I fell terribly lonely. Life seems meaningless. I wish I could forget him and move on.

Well it’s the first day after the break up. I feel like shit. I can’t stop thinking about him. I miss him like crazy. I don’t feel like going to work. Everything seems so difficult and complicated. I’ve lost my appetite. All I think about is him. I can’t sleep at night. I feel suffocated sometimes. I feel terribly lonely and sad :((((