Nervous breakdown again…Not sleeping is a trigger for my crisis. I’m considering quitting my job…........I hope everything looks better in the morning, I thought I could get out of trouble alone. Though I had felt the need of therapy since weeks, I ignored myself and I didn’t set the necessary appointments with the psychologist and with my former psychiatryst.
I’m so scared of losing my job it’s not only the loss of the financial security it provides …losing my job will be for me a failure as a human being and I don’t know if I could stand up after that…I’m so scared …...praying helped me deal with the panic attack but since I was feeling suicidal I called my father …he’s been so kind and caring I love him very much… in spite of all the problems we had because of his divorce from my mom , he’s really one person that I love and admire. Thanks God for him.
maromera's Life List
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1. love
8 entries . 43 cheers2,789 people -
2. Improve my self-esteem
1 entry . 12 cheers877 people -
3. be good to myself
2 entries . 25 cheers70 people -
4. go to bed earlier
3 entries . 18 cheers1,616 people -
5. be a better teacher
1 entry . 15 cheers223 people -
6. organize my room
6 entries . 19 cheers299 people -
7. create
3 entries . 35 cheers293 people -
8. defeat time, distance, and negative attitudes to make it through my long distance relationship while continuing to fall in love more and more
1 entry . 9 cheers4 people -
9. do first things first
6 entries . 20 cheers97 people -
10. find at least one thing each day that makes me happy and record it everyday for a year
236 entries . 21 cheers1,339 people -
11. dream seemingly impossible dreams and imagine wonderful things without being afraid
1 entry . 34 cheers4 people -
12. manage my Bipolar disorder
13 entries . 58 cheers149 people -
13. learn to dance
3 entries . 31 cheers6,584 people -
14. learn to draw
5 entries . 17 cheers1,988 people -
15. practice yoga
24 cheers4,105 people -
16. get rid of unnecessary possessions
2 entries . 18 cheers808 people -
17. earn a Masters degree in...something (but I have to figure out what first)
1 entry . 20 cheers3 people -
18. buy a digital camera
10 cheers832 people -
19. Earn Cambridge's CAE (Certificate in Advanced English)
2 entries . 13 cheers8 people -
20. see the midnight sun
17 cheers139 people -
21. reconnect with friends
22 cheers56 people -
22. do the splits
1 entry . 7 cheers2,018 people -
23. Fix my teeth
3 entries . 9 cheers520 people -
24. watch whales
17 cheers7 people -
25. Improve my French
8 cheers1,353 people -
26. learn to sing
12 cheers2,602 people -
27. Save 20% of my salary every month
1 entry . 12 cheers4 people -
28. have cool pictures of myself taken
19 cheers12 people -
29. Treat my body like a temple
22 cheers126 people -
30. upgrade my wardrobe.
9 cheers56 people -
31. learn cooking
1 entry . 12 cheers150 people -
32. speak 5 languages
12 cheers141 people -
33. Reawaken my dream life
7 entries . 11 cheers9 people -
34. arrive on time
1 entry . 8 cheers9 people -
35. Learn Japanese
8 cheers9,753 people -
36. Buy an easel
8 cheers6 people -
37. get married
3 cheers18,623 people -
38. maintain (and improve, if possible) my language skills
5 cheers2 people -
39. learn to relax
5 cheers603 people -
40. Give 3000 cheers
1 cheer16 people -
41. Plant roses
8 cheers11 people
How I did it: With an excellent shaman of an indian tribe of the Putumayo in a ceremonial context. Although I was very afraid ,I do not regret this experience that expanded my perception and nurtured my soul . I read about the plant 13 years ago and it took me that long to have the courage to try it. Read how I did it…
-Sunny morning, outdoors yoga. (Being patient with the man that insisted in talking to me between each asana of my session)
-Meditating for 10 minutes (I know it’s not much, but it’s been a long while since the last time I meditated, so it feels really nice to be able to do it again)
-Productive organizing session in my room.Weeding out various files from work.
-Working hard.
-Surviving Tuesday with very few sleep hours.
-Solving a complex situation at work in a good way.
-Phone call conversation with H. Deep,long conversation. Making clear that I’m only interested in a friendship with him.
-Paying my credit card.
- Going to bed at 8:00 p.m …finally sleeping
-Waking up very early in the morning to discover my love was staying awake late in Japan, 4-hour chat session which was really fun. I felt as if we were on a real date. We watched lots of videos together and he deticated songs to me that made me cry from happiness. I love him plain and simple and I really wish from the bottom of my heart to see him again some day.
-Helping my sister with her 3000 pieces puzzle. I have no patience, but I have a great eye for details.
-Receiving a phone call of my friend A. We had an argument a week ago and I believed that it was going to be the end of our friendship. Luckily, she changed her mind and we worked things out.



