sakiika

I’ve decided music isn’t the career path I want to take, but the experience of recording and writing has been good.

I was recently told by my best friend-who’s-a-boy (lol, didn’t want to say boyfriend, because he’s not), that he believes my life revolves around his. I was pretty shocked by this. I asked him why he thought that and he replied ‘You don’t go out’. I was so surprised, because I don’t usually tell him what I do after school or during the weekend so how would he know? I have friends outside of school who I meet up with, but I don’t like talking about my life or myself because I’m not that type of person, I’m more interested in others.. so he just assumed I had no life. I said ‘You don’t go out either’, and he replied with something along the lines of ‘I go walking, swimming, shopping.. generally things ending in ing’, our conversation continued like this, and he then told me to take no offence of it. OF COURSE I TOOK OFFENCE! He has this terrible misconception in his mind that my life revolves around his, he is my only friend, and that I never do anything!

I admit that I do not have the most interesting life, but I DO stuff! I play tennis, I play guitar, and I walk and I don’t spend all my time cooped up the house as he seems to believe. I don’t spend a lot of time on the computer either. Yes, I like being alone, so most of the time if I’m doing anything it’s a solo project such as walking, reading or going down to the field and doing art for a few hours, but this does count as an activity, does it not? I’m just a solitary person.

I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder as he knows, so it’s difficult for me to make friends. Anyway, this comment from him has really jogged me – particularly because I honestly believe that I have just as much (if not more of) a life as he has! So I am now determined to prove him wrong.. and is there a better time do so than in the Summer? I’m going to join some summer camps, take up 3 new after-school activities that I think I’ll suck at, but do it anyway for the fun. I’m going to meet old friends and make new friends. I’m going to start new, interesting hobbies, such as photography.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not doing this to prove him wrong, I’m doing it for myself and my own happiness, BUT working hard on my life and ending up with a more fun and interesting life than his will be a nice added bonus. I don’t want to make him jealous, but just make him think twice about how he perceives me.

I’m 15, girl, 5’8, and my weight fluctuates from 100-104 pounds.
I’m more than 20 pounds underweight, and my goal is to gain about 25 pounds.. I want to weigh 125 pounds. The problem is, that I have enough trouble keeping the weight on! Let alone gaining it!

I’ve been trying to eat loads more and researched all the foods I should be eating and I’ve cut down on exercise, etc. But all I have done is lost weight. It’s very frustrating to put all that effort in and not see a change on the scales.

I think I might visit a doctor soon.

Today I measured 104 pounds/47.2kg! Heaviest I’ve been in a while =)