So this has become my primary goal to achieve this year (not only for this year – just to get it into constant practice this year) and so far it is proving to be one of the toughest things I’ve ever done. I am a fat person, I have been fat since I was a kid and a lifetime of bad eating habits is proving hard to break.
As a clinically obese person, my primary goal is to lose weight and get healthier and get fit with exercise and learning to eat well and properly is the way to do that. I have been on a myriad of diets since I was about 8 years old and none of them have ever worked. Why? Because they are restrictive and work on deprivation of things and that never works.
I’m 29 going on 30 and I didn’t think this was going to happen over night but it is truly much much harder than I anticipated. I have signed up to myfitnesspal.com at the recommendation of a friend and it is teaching me a lot. It takes your current weight to calculate how many kilojoules (or calories if that’s what you work with) you need to limit yourself to to lose up to 1kg a week (1kg is the maximum weight it calculates to, aiming for a slow, steady and sustainable loss). So it has a kilojoule intake calculator in which you diarise all you eat in a day.
So far, I have not been within or under my target since I started. Today has been my best day so far and I’m becoming ultimately more aware of what I’m putting in to my body. It is the most excruciating process to actively look at the things I have been eating and realise how bad and empty some things are. Even though I’ve eaten far less crap than I would’ve before, the learning is still curving. Today my aim is to be within my kilojoule limit.
I have tried to stick to the everything-in-moderation rule but here’s the thing: those 2 slices of white toast I loved every morning mean that my stomach will be grumbling before I go to bed because I wasted precious kilojoules on them. So no more white bread. It’s a simple thing, I know, and so many people know it already, but sometimes you have to learn it the hard way I guess. I’m not bashing the moderation rule, because sometimes it’s okay to have those “naughty” things but I’m learning that sometimes doesn’t mean I can have that thing every day. And of course everyone wants different things and nothing should be completely struck off the list – well, maybe some things but those are personal choices that everyone has to make.
So yes, my uphill battle is worth it, I have goals, plans and motivation and I am learning what works and what doesn’t. I felt quite demotivated last night when I looked back at this weeks entries of my food intake and writing this has actually helped me reflect on what I am eating as well as why. So far so good today and I wish the best of luck to anyone who shares this goal and anything similar.