I’ve cared a lot about this boy for a year now. We dated for a few months last year before he went to study abroad, and I still love him. I just want him to know, to get it off my chest. It’ll probably freak him out a little and I don’t expect him to say it back, but I don’t care. I just want to tell him. You never know how it could affect someone, or if you’ll get the chance again at all…
schwerz's Life List
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1. spread the word about the bluefin tuna, which is expected to become extinct in 2012! please add this goal!
2 entries . 4 cheers1 person -
2. have clear skin
12 entries . 19 cheers1,269 people -
3. Do the A-Z author challenge
12 entries . 33 cheers173 people -
4. play piano more often
8 entries . 53 cheers66 people -
5. update my photo albums
1 entry . 14 cheers3 people -
6. Write a letter to myself that I'll open in 5 years
27 cheers153 people -
7. listen to new music
4 entries . 4 cheers125 people -
8. learn to speak Danish
9 entries . 30 cheers39 people -
9. stop making excuses
4 entries . 4 cheers264 people -
10. Learn to play the ukulele
2 entries . 28 cheers456 people -
11. sew a skirt
1 entry . 18 cheers84 people -
12. not be afraid of love
7 entries . 11 cheers71 people -
13. bike 10 miles
1 entry . 17 cheers0 people -
14. volunteer at an animal shelter
2 entries . 58 cheers702 people -
15. find what is missing from my life
5 entries . 52 cheers3 people -
16. have a flat stomach
2 entries . 1 cheer2,377 people -
17. Weigh 120 pounds again
7 entries . 10 cheers60 people -
18. get rid of allergies
4 entries . 10 cheers31 people -
19. make skittles vodka
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20. have cool pictures taken of me
7 entries . 3 cheers1 person -
21. model for someone
2 people -
22. take a photography class
8 cheers1,632 people -
23. enter a photo contest
3 cheers32 people -
24. Get SCUBA certified
1 entry . 4 cheers340 people -
25. spend a day at a spa
30 cheers124 people -
26. be more open
1 entry . 3 cheers462 people -
27. be more spiritual
2 cheers1,049 people -
28. write a book
2 entries . 24 cheers31,072 people -
29. dream big
3 entries . 15 cheers79 people -
30. travel around the world
1 entry . 35 cheers5,172 people -
31. discover myself, love myself, and feel free to be myself
17 entries . 108 cheers24 people -
32. stop missing opportunities
1 entry . 2 cheers3 people -
33. improve my appearance part II
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34. be sexy
1 entry . 1 cheer315 people -
35. become an amazing sensational human spectacle, one who is warm, well-traveled, adventurous, funny, inspiring and striking, someone he wishes he never let slip by...
5 entries . 3 cheers1 person -
36. Learn more about makeup
1 cheer3 people -
37. kiss an irish guy
2 cheers8 people -
38. post whatever inspires me
1 cheer1 person -
39. have a disney movie marathon
1 cheer8 people -
40. cut down on plastic bottles
1 person
How I did it: The boy I loved left me to study abroad for half a year, and I constantly worried: does he still like me, will he keep talking to me, will he find someone else, do i still like him, when will we talk next, what will happen when he gets back, etc.etc.etc.Around the last few months I started giving up a bit, and then in the few weeks before I saw him again, I really started to panic.For a while it was weird/awkward/confusing...I had so many… Read how I did it…
How I did it: I joined the marching band...that led to a social life that was ten times better. My love life improved significantly too...I tried being a vegetarian for about two months...I've decided I'm going to eat vegetarian more often but I'm not sure I can commit to being one 24/7.I studied abroad in Jamaica, I'm going to study abroad in Ireland, and I have even more trips planned.I declared my major, I got the piercing I wanted, the only t… Read how I did it…
How I did it: My freshmen year of college, there were many weekends where I spent a lot of time alone, I wouldn't leave my room very much, and I worked a lot. It was rather depressing. But this year is so much better, and I usually go out at least once. I have the opportunity to go out more often, but I don't always. And that's okay with me. I don't usually need to drink more than once a weekend...who has energy for that? … Read how I did it…
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Sometimes it seems like it’s going by so slowly. Other times it seems like it’s flying by. Either way…it’s hard.
But I think it’s going to get easier. The 3rd month, starting soon, I need to focus on school…and it’ll be getting warm out…which makes me happen. There will also be fun things: Earthstock, Roth Regatta, Strawberry Fest, Brookfest, the Band Banquet. The 4th month, I’ll be in Ireland. The 5th month will be July, my favorite. And the last half? Ugh. Don’t even wanna think about it.
A month after being there he said he wanted to be with me. The second month we talked considerably less. I felt like I was being annoying, crowding. And I fear that when he gets back, after 6 months, he’ll be like “Listen, I changed my mind, I think we should just be friends, but I still care about you…”
I’m going to be so happy. Because it’ll be summer, and I’ll be back amongst all my friends. I’ll probably be dancing around a lot, laughing, smiling the smile he liked so much. My hair will be long and sunkissed, like my skin. I’ll be nice to the new people. I’ll be nice to him. But I won’t pay attention when everyone huddles around him and says “HOW WAS GERMANY?!” Somehow we’ll have to be alone together. Maybe we’ll eat together. Walk together. Take pictures together. Maybe other guys will hit on me. Maybe I’ll hug them. Maybe he’ll realize I’m not like the rest of the girls. Maybe he’ll remember how much he cares, how much time we spent together before, how close we were. Sigh…I just hope it works. I don’t see why it wouldn’t.


