sfsweetness

I am currently in my 12th week of pregnancy – almost to the second trimester. My first trimester has been relatively easy and I haven’t gained much weight. Just this week I started to notice my clothes getting tighter and my waist getting thicker. My breasts hurt and I’m tired a lot but now I’ve gotten a good night’s sleep for two nights in a row and that has been great.

I want to enjoy this time as much as possible. I can sometimes feel the baby, or the muscles stretching. I know she is moving around in there. I can’t wait to see what she looks like! I want to meditate and bask in this pregnant energy.

I am so used to being alone – it is difficult to remember that being in a relationship means being on a team. Us against the world. We are for each other. I am used to making all of my decisions myself. Now that I have a partner, it is difficult navigating and differentiating our needs and balancing the individual needs with the “we”. I want to learn how to do this better.

I feel as though I am protecting my needs because at times they are so different from my partners. This is creating a barrier between us and I don’t want to do this. I want to learn how to merge and to be separate at the same time. I want to keep myself and create a beautiful life with my lover, that will allow both of us space to grow and become whatever we desire. I am learning how to do this.

sort of…put a post on Craig’s List when I was depressed one day and found the needle in the haystack. It’s crazy how much we love each other and how quickly things are moving.