I'm doing 3 things
I do have things to live for. You do too. If you think you don’t have anything to live for maybe you need to change. You have the power to better yourself. Accept your responsibilities and do the right things.
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Then again, that’s hypocritical of me to say since I myself don’t do the “right thing” all that often because in real life it’s not that simple, and maybe sometimes the only way to save yourself is to die. If there is something “wrong” with you, you have to face up to the challenge of leaving your comfort zone to become a better person and overcome your biggest obstacle, yourself. Or commit suicide, which lots of people choose. I guess I wouldn’t because what would be the point? I don’t believe in any after-life, so dying on purpose would be a waste of life in my view. I don’t see any difference between the state of being alive and being dead. Experience is chemical reactions. Structured chemical reactions. The death of the brain is the end of experience and the break-down of order in the chemical reactions. Eventually, the energy of the body (let’s say it’s in a forest) reaches the ecosystems of nature where it becomes part of everything: the dirt, the worms, the bugs, the birds, the trees, the squirrels, the air… and so my view on existence is that we’ve always existed.
Hmm… We, as humans, can experience a present, remember a past, conceive of a future and shape one for ourselves. Many of us don’t realize it (I think I do… yes, I do in some form, at least), but we DEFINE ourselves as our minds. We can think, and always have, since as far back as we can remember. We don’t know what it is like not to feel like we are our minds, and yet, we never notice it, because that’s how it has always been. If this sounds like madman-speak to you, you should try experiencing “ego-death.” You don’t have to to understand what I’m saying, but you can experience it first-hand by eating magic mushrooms, trying some LSD, or Salvia Divinorum (now illegal in Florida, but most states it’s legal; idk if this is good for beginners, though). Yes, I advocate ‘soft drug’ use, because it can answer many questions about existence, life, and meanings, and the drugs themselves have less negative impact on your body/brain than other, legal drugs like alcohol and tobacco. Beginner psychonauts should try MJ before any of these other soft drugs I listed because it gets you familiar with the feeling of momentary release/expansion/distortion of your mental realm, which can feel like a free-fall or a rollercoaster taking you through dimensions (I’m talking about the HIGH). My writing right now is sort of echoing what’s going through my mind (or maybe it’s just a result of it, like brain-waves are a result of chemical and electric activity in the brain), since I’m still blasted.
Shit, this is like wrestling a bear... with my mind. Actually I can kind of feel myself wrestling that mental bear (like in a sixth sense; one similar to 'touch,' but in/with your mind) because I'm flying in clouds right now. Sorry if this whole thing I'm writing keeps losing it's own focus, or foci, rather, since I went off-topic several times. Well, that goes kinda to illustrate what I'm talking about (wait, am I talking about this?); while thoughts are more unstructured when under the influence of things like mushrooms or acid, the mind is sort of "freed" of its old notions/preconceptions of reality and imagination expands in an astonishing way. "Ego-death" occurs at the peak of a trip and that's when you don't know what you are or who you are. After the experience, you can draw conclusions or ponder about reality, etc. Well, don't take my word for it, and certainly don't take the main-stream media's (yes, that means t.v. and government sponsored-anythings), go to erowid.com, which is the best collection of knowledge and research on drugs on the internet.Anyway, don’t kill yourself.
