sheena

A lot has happened in these past few months…seriously, life’s been some sort of tumultuous roller coaster. Thankfully though, I got through it…without even the help of my therapist, as I voluntarily stopped visiting her about a month ago. My therapist, though well intentioned, did not help me much with my issues. I feel like just by myself I’ve accomplished and progressed more now than I ever have in any single session with her “help”. I haven’t even cut since that last time…well, I cut pretty badly about two months ago…had to go to hospital and all. I don’t even feel like doing it anymore…I’ve started doing yoga, reading self-help and spirituality books…writing more to express my thoughts…and I’ve noticed all these things are truly helping me. I’ve gained a lot of insight now…things don’t seem as half as bad, because I know I’ve gone through all this once, and I made it before…I can do it again…

While by no means do I feel like I’ve completely recovered from the depression, I do feel much better. I feel calm…an almost inner peace…and older, wiser too…if that makes sense.

I met him a few months ago…but unfortunately, he was just as confused as I was about the whole thing when I did…conflicts arose…as is natural…and we’ve basically just stopped talking to each other now. Well, more like, I told him I needed space…long story. I miss him though. When we weren’t so stressed about-everything-we had some good times sighs.

I wonder if what I’m doing is even right…

Well, now my prozac intake’s been doubled. I’m just trying my best to get through this school year, but it’s difficult. Two weeks ago all I did was sleep in my classes or cry, which obviously distracted me from learning anything. Last week though, I pushed myself to stay awake and was able to catch up somewhat.

I believe I’m slowly, yet steadily, getting better.

I truly feel like living.

And I haven’t felt like that in a long time.