shenandoahmmxii

i dont want to lose weight so much as inches. i am very much just beginning, this will be a big one to tackle, as it isnt as much about motivation as it is self esteem and optimism. i have always seen myself as dumpy, and carry myself as such. there are fat/phat women who are confident and carry themselves well; i am not FAT but i dont carry myself in a very feminine manner. lots of reasons for it but have to get past them. and i will! i am determined.

been meaning to since last fall at least. i had been planning to put them all in electronic form, and burning them on the spring equinox (which was symbolic in ways i wont mention here), with friends present. most of the way thru transcribing them, i accidentally deleted the file on my computer (november?). i didnt want to retype them, so they sat in a box in my room. today i set most of them ablaze in my fireplace. i am so happy. it is so freeing. i am not my past. i am living in the present.

same place, 2 yrs, no advancement, terrible work conditions, and i finally did it! whats more, i had a job lined up, but decided not to go…so i found a new job in a week! i start next wednesday! crazy how life turns around so fast, but i am hopeful for the future :-)