shiboy02

So I’ve been here and of course I started early. I updated a little on my other thing to do. I had to switch back to work mode and finally have time later in the day to get this posted. I will be here again late and won’t be home until 8pm. I did exchange some banter with my fellow employees today which made me cheerful, but man I am already dreading the weekend, I will be alone with nothing to do and that’s kinda sad. I’ve caught up on watching movies downtown and have been walking around and keeping busy as usual. But I would rather be at work right now. I don’t want to go back to an empty apartment and watch TV or read a book I want to do something besides dread being at home. I don’t know what I’m thinking I should be thinking it would be better to get some time off but here I am pining about not being at work what is wrong with me??! lol anyhow I better get back to work. lol

Today is no different from every other day but man I have to tell you people just don’t make it any easier. smile but that’s not for me to decide, I did get to talk with my friend and he bf whom doesn’t like me very much but atleast he’s finally found the understand that she and I are childhood friends and she is a sister to me. Anyhow that’s another story. I have had a lot of interesting moments since yesterday, and I’m kind of angry about them and the people involved. I will try my best though. I really want so much and I know that I have to just let things go. It’s the only way I can think I will make it. But I find myself depressed. I guess I should be happy. I am where I want to be and getting closer to the place I want to be overall. Well time to stop blabbering and get myself in order. I guess I will post more when I have something more functional to write. I know I’m being negative and I shouldn’t be.

I’m still here working harder than ever. This time for other reasons, and the same reasons. A lot has happened. I have a lot to be happy for but at the same time I am angry and work seems to be my only place I can call home. I had a lot of plans which I altered to fit something else which didn’t work. I will continue to work at this but seriously, I think I am stuck here and this is my real home, because I go to my so called home just to get something to eat, sleep, shower, get dressed and come back here to work again. I have been working 6days and usually leave around 5am and get back around 8pm each night. I try to have a life, but it’s hard with my emotions and having to have this work with my other thing that I’m doing. Between these two I think it will keep me busy throughout the year. But if I do find that I have the time to stop being a workaholic I think I will find myself completely lost. But I get up. I breathe. I go to work. I hope you all are well. & goodluck