shimpals

This entire process was excruciating!
From studying for the GRE’s to taking them, finishing pre-reqs, getting in good enough with people to get letters of recs, researching schools, sending transcripts and scores, following up, writing an essay, waiting on rejections and acceptances. This somehow felt a million times harder than college applications.

I applied to 9 schools to do a Master’s in Occupational Therapy, I probably spent about $1000 total on all the apps, but one acceptance was worth it all ^_

I just kept telling myself “it’s this excruciating crap that will separate you and get you an acceptance”. It took a lot, but just keep at it :)

Follow the nutrition guide!!

http://roomfordebate.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/30/what-is-a-masters-degree-worth/

Yay, finally got it over with today!! so much studying and stress, my brain is fried. However I didnt do as well as I had hoped. I ran out of time on the math portion!!

to visit a boy…

I guess I’m realizing that part of falling in love is trusting yourself enough both to give yourself to another person & trusting that you won’t break in the end (whatever “end” may mean). That there’s always a core within yourself to return to, to draw from, and its not something that gets depleted but is stable & infinite.

This goal/question also ties into my choice if being vegetarian. Maybe that’s why I mainly chose to frame it as a”biological”issue. I want to know how A leads to B. How does meat, or lack of it, in ones diet affect ones health? But just as well, I’ve really always felt deep down that it was not really fair or kind of wrong to eat animals. But facing all these weird health issues (temporary amenorrhea, constantly being sick, slight weight gain) I wonder if I am making the right choice for myself. I want some validation and I guess that’s why I initially asked this question. I mean in the end, I just want to be healthy and happy.

Talks about how food (like everything else in life) is an extension of your beliefs. Beliefs about life, God, love, yourself and your capabilities. That the way we eat and approach food, whether is be through restriction or through bingeing reveals a lack of awareness and connection with our bodies. She talks about FEELING your body again, putting aside the mental and I guess getting in touch with your emotions without passing judgment. This is the idea behind meditating, coming into yourself (rather than your circular nagging thoughts or irrational anxieties and fears) and simply experiencing. Cool beans. This relates to food because you have to learn to trust your body, trust yourself and in turn, love yourself. Eat what you want when you’re hungry. Stop when you’re full. Be mindful of how food makes you feel. Like I wrote in my other entry, this goal has evolved into more than just how food simply biologically affects me, but pretty much coming to terms with my entire relationship with food. This goal/question is one that I pursue and pursue BECAUSE I have struggled so much with food in the past. I’ve been there, pigging out, I’ve been there, anorexic and struggling with control issues motivated only by self-loathing, I’ve been there, bulimic, cycling through binging and purging and feeling that disconnect and disgust. I’ve been there at the gym burning off my 1000th calorie. Why does this problem seem to affect women so much more deeply than men? Is it the infamous “standard”? Why does this issue resonate so deeply within us? Maybe it’s just a matter of public acknowledgment and what’s socially acceptable… Maybe men struggle with this as well.

Gotta get my Jerry Beads!!

not being such a flake!

Selling earrings :) next I want to sell at the swap meet or maybe at some local gift shops!

When I’m no longer indigently in debt, I’ll take up piano lessons again and this will be my Certificate of Merit peace. Then I can end my piano career happily.

Currently reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma. While it’s not really
“biological”, it’s really eye-opening in terms of illuminating our relationship with food. What is the mediator? Convenience? Culture? Conscience? Health? I think that question is definitely an undertone to why I wonder how food directly (biologically) affects me. And I guess in the end, it makes me wonder, how does one even define”biological”? Ahh

$38,292.23… and rising with interest. Still job hunting, but apparently my nearly $40k degree is only enough to get me a $12/hr job.

Putting my tax refund towards repayments.

does In&Out count as fast food?

I couldn’t pass it for the life of me

I still feel like it’s never gonna happen…

I had always wanted to go to China, so after i graduated from university, i saved up some money from working for 3 months and enrolled in a language university in Beijing to learn Mandarin for a semester (BLCU). Best experience ever!!! The food is amazing, the sights are unique. This past semester was able to go to Beijing, Shanghai, Inner Mongolia, Hangzhou, Suzhou, Guangzhou, Yellow Mountain, and the Avatar Mountains (ZhangJiaJie). The cost of living here is cheap, its totally doable!! :D By the way, i would definitely recommend hostels over hotels. Waay cheaper and a good way to meet people.

I can’t believe I’m finally crossing this off of my list.
Broke up with my long-time boyfriend on whom I was unhealthily dependent on.
Flew on an airplane by myself.
Moved to a foreign country and managed.
I think the final step to completing this goal is to stay single and happy.

I think there are certain things worth caring about and a lot of other things not worth worrying about. In the end, you do what you do because that’s who you are. If people are going to judge you, then it’s their misunderstanding and their loss.

“beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself”