siduk

I’ll never admit this in real life as I would be thought of as a nutcase immediately. But I saw either a physical ghost (i.e. with a ‘hard’ body – not those misty things you see in films), an angel or an alien when I was a child. I still don’t know which. I’m not sure it was an alien, because it didn’t resemble anything I’ve seen in drawings or films (small, green people). It was tall and thin and had a long face. I always think ‘wolf’ when I recall it as it had a long, pronounced lower face. It had much more human eyes though, very big and almost sad. Very old and sad looking. It’s hard to explain. Not sad as in upset, just weary I suppose – like an old person. It seemed quite gentle and almost protective and I don’t remember feeling afraid. I’ve read lots of accounts of people who were abducted and put on a spaceship and endured horrible, painful testing, but I don’t remember anything like that. So I’m not sure what it was.

I’ve never seen a UFO. This thing was inside my house. I have no idea where it came from or where it went. I don’t remember what happened previously. I just remember that something happened and there was an amount of time that passed, then I have a few seconds of memory of this being looking down at me and leaving. I was about 8 years old at the time. It isn’t a scary memory. That’s all there is to it though. I can’t remember the rest. I will never forget it as long as I live though and I don’t think I will ever tell anyone in real life. I work in finance and that sort of thing wouldn’t do me any favours!

I should add that I wasn’t drinking, on drugs, asleep, ill, injured or in any situation that would have brought on a hallucination. I have always had perfect health and there is nothing that could explain what I saw.

EDIT: Maybe someone broke into the house, smacked me around the head to give me severe concussion, dressed up like this creature and ran off??

I would add that it improves your chances if you live a road away from his place!

Do you (or other people) ever worry that you are wasting all of your time (4-5 years so far) focusing on something that may never end? Or, if it does, may never be of any merit? This consumes every waking and sleeping hour of my life. Even when I’m at work I’m thinking up and evaluating plotlines in my head. It’s all I can think about and part of me thinks I will never find that perfect story that clicks… and yet whenever I’ve tried to stop and focus on something else (my career or lack of love life, etc), within days I’m back to the pen and notepad!

Am I going crazy or is this a normal part of the writing process? I worry that I’ll never concentrate on a job or that I’ll end up as a manic old at lady!