silhouete2

I have never liked myself all that much. I don’t know why. My parents were very loving and nurturing, but i was teased/bullied in school from Kindergarten on through high school. Boys didn’t like me—I was the kid who was on the outside looking in. That still resonates with me today and I’m almost 40!!!! I’m my biggest critic. My mom says as you get older you like yourself more and more. I hope that is true. I’d like to finally get to that point where I don’t care what others think and truly believe that I am a smart, pretty person who is worthy of love and friendship. Man, we humans are complicated creatures!

Is it weird that I have spent my entire life NEVER being in love? I sometimes think it is weird, then I think that maybe it’s just because the person I’m supposed to be with hasn’t found me yet. I wish he’d hurry up!

My sweet boy turned 1 this past weekend. When I first found out I was having a boy, I was scared because I had the mindset I would have a girl. Since I believe that this will be my only child, because of my age, I was sooooo apathetic toward it. Then he showed up. He is such a sweet angel! I worry about silly things like the woman who will “take him away” one day. I think boys can be close to their mothers without being a “Momma’s Boy.” I cherish every moment with him because he has allowed me to fulfill a role in life I have wanted forever—being a Mom.