sillyb

This isn’t like everybody else’s entries, this is really made for partners right?
Mines my old best friend, the man i fell in love with those seven years ago, we left school and went our seperate ways and i’ve missed him everyday since, We’ve both seen some very dark times lately but it seems to have pushed us even further apart, i still have him on my contacts but don’t want to say hi in case it ruins his day.
What hurts the most is when my friends are talking to him, i ask how he is and they say ‘okish’ so there’s something wrong, i want to help, to be there for him but i know i can’t, we;ve lost our friendship and it hurts inside!
It’s a weird experience to feel the burning in your chest, yearning to talk to him but unable to write the words. I just miss him so much, whenever i see his name or someone mentions him my stomach tightens, I just want him to be happy but i can’t keep dwelling like this, it’s ruining my good mood, he’s always in my head.
I’ve never told him how i feel mainly because its an odd love, i love him so much, i used to love him to the extent that i would die for him.
He doesn’t feel the same way and i have to let him go. But it’s so hard when we never truly ended it.
I just don’t know what to do, neither of us has done wrong. My emotions are just too strong.

need to buy a keyboard first, i only have a tiny kiddy one at the moment.

I’ve been meaning to learn for the past three years, i kept going to but never had enough time or i was so stressed i couldn’t relax enough, i finally learnt a few chords but they were soon forgotten when life got in the way.
I’m hoping to have learnt a song by the end of the year. here’s hoping.