simmers

my grandmother told me that you cant ever say goodbye forver because there is never a circumstance where you should totally lose touch with someone. this week i found out she was wrong. a friend lied to me made me feel like im shit and made me feel sorry about it and apologize over and over. he constantly brought up the horrible things ive done to him and how ive hurt him so much. all i could think was you have no idea how much youve hurt me. a good friend of mine sent me an email with a paragraph she had found in a blog.
“You can try your hardest you can do everything and anything but sometimes people just arent worth trying over anymore, they arent worth worrying about, its important to know when to let go of somoen who only brings you down. Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow. Sometimes we must fall in order to know. Sometimes our vision clears only after our eyes have been washed away with tears. Sometimes love is so unfair. the more you sacrifice the more you are hurt and when you feel youve given your best its still not enough. Until such time you have no choice but to give up. If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you its yours if not then it was never meant to be. But sometimes when you think things were meant to be they really were not. So take your time and look really hard because it can change your life in an instant. Why do we always love the ones who hurt us and hurt the ones who love us? Ive learned that it is impossible to laugh when your so much closer to crying, that tears can be hidden if you try, abd that the roles we play for ourselves without a crowd could win more academy awards than the screens will ever know. And its so hard to do and so easy to say but sometimes, SOMETIMES, you just have to walk away. A sad thing about life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go. Heartbreaks will last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but how to learn from them. I guess its beacause i cant help but to remmeber everything. I mean you see someone and you think about all theyve ever said and done…the good and the bad. It all comes back to you and it feels so right and hurts so bad all at once”
This gave me the strength to do what i knew was right. To let go of what used to be one of my best friends. the last thing he asked me was “so now what” and i told him i was gonna have to break a promise id made to myself..i had to say goodbye.