sitio

A coworker just said that to me about differing perspectives in an argument where both sides are reluctant to divulge many details about their side, yet they are fighting: “everybody is hitting their own sky”

I don’t really know what this means, but I think it is beautiful, evocative and fits under this goal somehow.

“malicious or divisive speech, abusive or harsh speech” – I don’t know why I can’t remember at work that the important thing is how we treat each other.

To me, what I actually do at work is absurd. If I look at the big picture of my job I cannot escape the conclusion that I am a tiny part of making rich people richer while doing next to nothing to improve the world.

The only lives that I can play any real part in improving right now are my coworkers. If what we’re doing is absurd, at least we can bring joy to each other doing it.

Why, then, do I find myself everyday saying something mean to or about somebody? Why, given that I think my job is for all intents and purposes without any real meaning, do I get so frustrated at things not being done “the right way” or “cleanly” or “correctly”?

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t all I do. I try everyday to be light-hearted and make people smile and laugh. I try to approach everything with an open mind, open heart, and to remember that people are more important than projects. I try to be constructive, I try to mentor, be helpful, empower.

I do manage it for a bit. And then I forget and I bitch about some code or some process or some person who didn’t do something “correctly.”

The environment is difficult; some of the people are difficult people. This is good news. It wouldn’t be much of a practice if it were all easy.

What “improving musicianship” means to me is:

1.Improve skills on the instruments I play
2.Increase my knowledge of musical styles I already play
3.Keep studying, practicing and improving styles of music that I’m trying to learn
4.Deepen my study of musical theory
5.Study theory as applied to my specific instruments
6.Listen deeply to music I appreciate to try to figure out how it is working
7.Listen deeply (though for a shorter period of time) to music I don’t like to try to understand what doesn’t work for me
8.Study composition and arrangement and apply it to my own songs
9.Record more music
10.Work on getting over my fear and embarrassment of playing in front of people
11.Be more disciplined, play more, do more, spend more time at it