sjaarnaeh

My old horse used to love the beach, he is too old now to let me ride him but I really wish I could just one last time.
If I’d known the last time I did it was going to be the last time, I’d have squeezed him a little tighter, let him run a little faster, and taken a little longer.
I miss riding my beautiful boy.

Last year my partner and I bought a new house, much smaller then the lovely one we’d been renting for the previous year, and it needed full renovation too.
We packed up our things and moved them into storage, taking only what we needed for the 3 months we had estimated it would take us to renovate.

One year on we are still not moved in, we’re lodging at a second house in one room (already had to move from the first lodgings) and are still living with the minimal items we took with us (plus a few bits we’ve bought along the way).

I promised myself that when we do finally move into our house I will throw away/give to charity/sell half of my things that are in storage. If I haven’t needed them for the past year, I won’t need them for the next ones. The other half I’d have to keep because I can’t be that ruthless, it’s a start though!

...At the beginning of the year, I know I’ve gone on and on about it to anyone and everyone that will listen. To the point that people are sick of hearing about it.

I’m currently a 36 GG/H (depending on the style, which, lets face it is either full cup ugly or full cup semi ugly) which is the equivalent of a US J/K I’ve just found out. (Great, I’m even bigger over there).

I’m 27 and haven’t had kids yet, I do want them but am terrified that boobage will get even bigger, plus I have a few years of my life without kids still to lead.
I’m a sporty person, riding and racing mountain bikes in most of my spare time, boobage I feel just holds me back.

I’m overweight at 200lbs but I’m 5ft8 and size UK 16 which actually isn’t as big as you’d think for that weight, I know boobage weighs a stone, or did a couple of years ago when an old boyfriend ‘lifted’ them up when I was weighing myself. In fact I’m sure I’ve gone up 2 cup sizes since then so god only knows what they are now!

I remember being 14 and a D cup, I used to get a lot of attention from men, mainly pervy ones that were old enough to be my father. The boys my friends dated weren’t interested in me because I had ‘more than a handful’.
I didn’t mind older men though, I could get into bars and older men had money to treat young ladies with big boobs to nice drinks, my friend als had a boobage issue so we’d hang out in clubs together getting lots of attention. Those were the days when everything pointed upwards though, not so much anymore.

Now my nips are about elbow height and every morning I have to drag boobage from under my arms where they’ve tucked themselves for a sleep, I have itchy, yukky, rashy skin in the folds beneath them and grooves about half an inch deep in my shoulders, plus the backache.

I hate them so much. I can tone my legs and bum, slim down my tum but nothing ever makes any difference to boobage, and I never look any slimmer. In photos all I see is boob. I look in the mirror and see boob. Passing shop windows I see reflections of boob. I just can’t get past it.

I’m seeing my GP in a couple of weeks, I think the NHS have decided t pay (or at least contribute towards) my surgery at last. I hope the wait isn’t too long, it’s be nice to start the new year without the burden of boobage.