skateralaska

well. I’m not sure when I’ll need it but its not too hard.

it was crappy…. maybe next time

Pouring down rain and 20 knot winds… good jump. Damn that ant pile.

So I fucked up big and I fucked up alot and some how out of the turmoil I incited, She held me up. I was only hurting her, maybe a few anonymous people here and there but she was the one I had always dreamed of making happy. I was destryoing her. She never left me despite my flaws and showed me she is there for me unconditionaly. She overlooks my mistakes and doesnt judge me for them anymore. She is so stuck on me thinking about it reminds me of when I was first falling for her. I have no doubt in my mind that she loves me as much as I have always loved her. I love you Crystal.

The songs I hear on the radio are pretty sad to call an expression of ones soul, its hard to justify the meanings and emotions behind most of them. Most bands are putting out either controversial shit cause it grabs your attention or they are playing the popular chords of the era and babbling about unrealistic political views. I want my music to be meaningful and true to life. Whether its about the small observations or about the crushing reality of life. I want it like everything about me to be deep and soulfull, and still at the same time kick ass.

I love music, I love live bands and well produced studio bands. I want to set up an indie company and bring in local nobodies I can see talent in and promote the hell out of them. Watch them like children grow up and on to better things. I want to bring the crowds music that is worth hearing and full of life. And I like the idea of scouting for these bands, I’d just go to local shows all over the country. Maybe just an open call for demo tapes, I dont know. I’d like to “make it” first though, put on a few hundred good shows and then start setting this up.

A revolution in thinking. I hate sexist, racist, homophobic shovinists. Tell me how is blonde hair and brown hair differant than dark skin and light skin. All those cultural isolationists need to wake the fuck up and see the world around them. Every person is an individual and we are only stereotyped by ourselves. Its pathetic that in this day and age some cultures find it acceptable to treat women as a subordinate species rather than an equal partner of the human species. How is your status as a person changed dependant on the sex you fuck. Its my personnal preferance to be with women, I just find it gross to do the things I do with women with a dude. but hey some people like cranberries some dont that doesnt mean I should say its wrong for everyone. people are way too comfortable staying on there sides of the imaginary lines of biggotry. I want to destroy and make a unified human race.

I am soo bad about this, I’ll even write people letters and thank you notes but never send them out. I gotta force myself to do this. matter of fact I have a stack of letters and thank yous waiting to be sent out now already a month old.

I saw a sign once that I really liked, it said “sorry for the inconveniance, but due to recent budget cuts the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily turned off.” I thought wow how like my life, a minor inconveniance that means nothing to anyone in management but it was everything to me. I’m not really sure what this proverbial light at the end of the tunnel is to me now, but if I can at least figure that out than thats the first step to getting there.

I’ve got a bunch of ideas for what I want next. First I’m going to add some waves and flames to my dragon yin yang tat. After that probably a demented looking stitch.

I’ve heard that its a very nice place to go, I might just visit one day. If my life keeps going the way it has been I’ll have my itenerary for the trip in no time.

I want to make a difference in someones life, I want to be able to make them smile and make them laugh. I want to hold them in my arms when they cry and know theyre not holding back. I want to be the reason for a perfect day, night and life. I want someone to smile when they think about me. I want someone to be happy just being with me.

I only got to snowboard a few times but I loved it. Nothing better than waking up at the top of the mountain straping on your bored and racing to the bottom. It just takes so much effort to get back up to the top what a killjoy. M.C. Escher needs to build a never ending mountain for me.

I havent surfed in almost 6 years now, thats insane. I love surfing. I’ll make sure I get a new bored when I get back to the states.

other than English of course. I can understand a little arabic, speak a little french, spanish and american sign language. I’d also like to learn thai, turkish and portugese. And be fluent in all of the above. This one is gonna take some time but hey thats all I’ve got.

I dont really like rules and many martial arts have rules to them which is too restrictive. I’d like to learn a few differant ones and combine them to form a martial art that is better suited for me. Thats all martial arts are anyway perfecting and adapting guidlines for fighting styles to suit the individual. Right now I know enough to do some damage but have never been formally trained.

remember when we were kids and nothing really mattered? War was as real as Dumbo and I trusted everyone. After a few heartbreaks, backstabs, burnt bridges and court dates all that glee of childhood goes away. I wish I didnt know half of what I do now and that I could go back to a time when my neighborhood was the biggest place in the world.

I know a few tricks but I’m not consistent enough to land them every time. I’m trying a few new tricks that I can visualize in my head but never get quite right. Oh well practice practice practice.

Why not the world is all about internet now, I might as well be good at doing something others can appreciate.

Over water, A million stars above and below in the reflection, never know when its too late to pull the chute. Wind rushing past falling faster and faster. Sounds like nirvana to me.