Alyssa is a singular girl

Again, not benevolent. I’m just full of things that sound good but are for selfish reasons, aren’t I?

I’m applying to become a teacher of ESL, and in doing this, I need to volunteer 100 hours at a K-12 public school. Apparently my time teaching in China doesn’t count, so I need to hurry my ass up and do this by mid-December. Thanks, jerks. Maybe I’ll see you again someday, days off.

(But seriously, I’m applying to volunteer at a school for K-2 kids, and it should be fun, and I’m way excited about the prospect of going back to school.)

There is floor space in my closet. Not enough yet, but I said “enough to walk in it,” and I can, damn it. More importantly, I can fit my large (though apparently not large enough) shoe rack inside. I need a lot more organization in it, but oh, I have a floor!

That’s the sound I make I discuss how old I’m going to be on my next birthday. Some people grow old gracefully. I accept that I probably will not.

Although I don’t intend to celebrate my birthday by actually aging, I do plan to have a totally bitchin’ party, where I will look like a total rock star. I am going to be the talk of the Minneapolis bar scene. If there were any version of Page Six here, I would be in it.

Or, I’ll just look nice. That’s good too.

It goes hand-in-hand with my “clean out the closet” goal. I’ve got bags of cute stuff that doesn’t fit, and those bags are sitting and taking up room. I have been to the Salvation Army. They lack cute stuff. Like, hardcore lack. The racks are swallowed up by hideous ‘80s floral dresses and circa-1992 “Jump Rope for Heart” t-shirts. Here, girls shopping charity shops. Have my lingerie-inspired camisoles and black pencil skirts. They’re not working so well for me anymore. Maybe I’m being benevolent after all.

Ages ago: French onion soup from The Book Lover’s Cookbook. Good stuff. I made vegetarian French onion soup like a million years ago, and it didn’t go so well. Guess it needs to be meaty. I also used beef broth from crock-pot roast beef, so it was extra beefy. Nice touch.

The other day: apple salad and red curry pork and green beans from 100 Great Thai Dishes. It was a learning experience, in that I discovered that there are, in fact, some things too spicy for me. Two tablespoons of red curry paste? I almost burned off my mouth.

I started, in earnest, working on this goal earlier this week. I was inspired, I admit, by reading about Kimora Lee Simmons’s closet. It sounds pretty amazing. My closet will probably never be as awesome as hers. Unless I also marry a hip-hop mogul, which is pretty unlikely around here. (Minneapolis’s hip-hop scene is killer, but no one there has “mogul” status, unfortunately.)

Anyway, this week I’ve gotten rid of no less than SEVEN garbage bags of clothes, another bag of wire hangers (WHY did I ever have wire hangers???) and assorted other bags of trash. It is very freeing, although a little embarrassing that it ever got to this point. I’m not done at all, but a lot of the rest will just be organizing, I think. And painting! I can’t wait to go nuts with some bright turquoise paint up in there.

Recently, I “borrowed” a couple of issues of Cooking Light from work. They had this recipe for a pork spice rub that looked pretty dynamite, so I grilled up a few chops. Of course, I needed some veggies to go with those bad boys. That is where my beloved Mollie Katzen came in. I recently obtained The Vegetable Dishes I Can’t Live Without from the library. Apparently, at some point before leaving for China, I’d bought myself a bottle of pomegranate molasses, for a reason not entirely clear now. But anyway, Mollie had a recipe for roasted asparagus with pomegranate-lime glaze. It was pretty bitchin’. Everything I’ve ever made, I think, from a Mollie Katzen cookbook has been pretty bitchin’. Someone should compile all of her cookbooks into one giant cookbook. I would buy that. Get to it, people who aren’t lazy like me. I’m practically putting money in your pocket.

I just emailed a company in Argentina that has an ESL certification class. They offer them all year round, so I’d be able to save up for a few months before going. The price is a lot lower than it is in most of the other countries I’ve looked at, and I’ve never been to South America. There are a lot of good things going for Argentina.

The Olive and the Caper is a cookbook written by an anthropologist. Neato! This means that there are all sorts of interesting little asides about Greek history, mythology, and culture.

More importantly, the food is good. I decided to make myself a little meze plate of pickled red onions, souvlakia (kebabs), and saganaki (fried cheese). The saganaki was a little salty for my taste (and mine didn’t fry up into cute little cubes), and I would definitely let the souvlaki marinate for longer next time, but it was good stuff.

I’m still not so good at asking people questions in Chinese, but I can answer the basics. I do pretty well in restaurants. I do exceedingly well in bars.

I don’t plan on being in China anytime soon, so it’s not a terribly necessary goal anymore. I just hope I’ll be able to remember enough to impress Chinese people when I go to my favorite bakery in Chicago’s Chinatown.

I’ve been to the places in bold. Mr. Cash is going to make this one a tough one to complete. He’s got quite the list.

Winnamucka
Reno

Chicago
Fargo
Minnesota
Buffalo
Toronto
Winslow
Sarasota
Wichta
Tulsa
Ottowa
Oklahoma
Tampa
Panama
Mattua
LaPaloma
Bangor
Baltimore
Salvador
Amarillo
Tocapillo
Pocotello
Amperdllo
Boston
Charleston
Dayton
Louisiana
Washington
Houston
Kingston
Texas
Monterey
Fairaday
Santa Fe
Tollaperson
Glen Rock
Black Rock
Little Rock
Oskaloosa
Tennessee
Tinnesay
Chickapee
Spirit Lake
Grand Lake
Devil’s Lake
Crater Lake
Louisville
Nashville
Knoxville
Omerback
Shereville
Jacksonville
Waterville
Costa Rock
Richfield
Springfield
Bakersfield
Shreveport
Hackensack
Cadillac
Fond du Lac
Davenport
Idaho
Jellico
Argentina
Diamondtina
Pasadena
Catalina
Pittsburgh
Parkersburg
Gravelburg
Colorado
Ellisburg
Rexburg
Vicksburg
El Dorado
Larimore
Adimore
Habastock
Chadanocka
Shasta
Nebraska
Alaska
Opalacka
Baraboo
Waterloo
Kalamazoo
Kansas City
Sioux City
Cedar City
Dodge City

On a road trip down South a few weeks ago, my friend and I started talking about wanting to go to a psychic. Our friend, who lives in Memphis, said she knew where one was located. So we went, and getting a reading cost a pretty penny, but it was still cool, even though I wish I would have gotten my reading done by the other woman there. She was psychic down to the hippie skirt and indecipherable accent.

(But I kind of hope it doesn’t turn out to be accurate…I guess I’ll find out in two years, when I’m supposed to be settling down.)

One of my biggest character flaws is that I tend to be quite snobbish about things. My biggest snobbery regards books, and this includes cookbooks.

However, I’m not really a food snob, as evidenced by the fact that when I came home from China and my parents asked me what I wanted to eat, I exclaimed, “Anything with processed cheese!” (I had Kraft macaroni and cheese for breakfast today.)

So maybe this is why I have a certain fondness for the “Cooking the - Way” cookbooks they have in mighty stock at my library, the ones that are meant for schoolkids. But I don’t care. Once I glanced at Cooking the West African Way, and saw that there was a recipe for FUFU, a food that I learned to love whilst having a dalliance with a West African boy who could cook like there was no tomorrow (and loved that I loved his native foods) I had to get this cookbook.

I’m saving the fufu for a special occasion-like celebrating the fact that I remembered to buy instant mashed potato flakes, which the recipe calls for-but the spinach stew was pretty okay.

I’m researching courses that would give me certification in teaching English as a Second Language. I already have experience, but this little piece of paper would really open up a whole lot of doors for me.

I was hoping to go to Europe, but geez, it’s expensive over there.

Maybe I’ll go to Thailand. Yeah, I like Thailand.

Not in a sorority way. That’s not the way I roll.

But I got a Greek cookbook from the library yesterday, and those wacky Greeks use a lot of filo dough, and I’m afraid to use it, but I love spanakopita, even though I’m not sure I spell it right.

Baking bread also scares me, but it’s 90 degrees right now and I’m not sure how much I’m willing to suffer for my art.

May, Beijing:

Made it to see Mao.

No offense to Chinese people; I know you love him, but he was not a very attractive man.

My ticket is booked for the 23rd-as in, 10 days from now-but since I said I was counting it done when I got my work permit, by God, I’ve stuck it out.

It’s gotten to be crunch time for everything I’ve needed to get done, so I’ve been pretty much freaking out about my letter. I’ve been checking the fax machine obsessively. And just now when I heard the machine start beeping, I crossed my fingers, and now, here it is.

I’m going to China in ten days!

I guess it would be considered rustic SOMEWHERE, but when I made sweet potato and peanut salad, people seemed a little weirded out. Actually, it was mostly just my mom, but I guess that’s ‘cause she doesn’t like sweet potatoes. Nonetheless, I don’t know, it didn’t seem RUSTIC rustic to me. Not like a, like, beef stew would. Not that I would ever make that. But still. Constance Snow considered it rustic enough to put it in her cookbook (and my seventeenth) The Rustic Table, so maybe I shouldn’t question it.

The question of its rusticness aside, it was good. Really good. I kicked up the spice a little, as I am prone to doing (I used chile oil instead of peanut oil for the dressing, and was a little more liberal with the red pepper), but the longer it sat, the better it tasted. It had a lovely combination of textures and flavors.

$1060. That will buy me almost a month of rent in Chicago when I move there. Awesome.

I plan to keep adding to this until I leave for China next month, by which time I should have about $1300. And THAT should be a month of rent.

When I got my dog way back in the day and named her Molly, it was just because…I don’t really know. But NOW I think it’s because I knew subconsciously that eventually I was going to fall in love with the cookbooks of Mollie Katzen.

After my obsession with The Moosewood Cookbook, I got The Enchanted Broccoli Forest. I am equally in love with it, this, my sixteenth cookbook.

I admit, sometimes I force myself to eat tofu. Yet I still buy it in the hopes that I will find that magical recipe that will make me love it. I looked through the tofu section, and there was a recipe which I could make without having to go to the grocery store, and which looked pretty quick. And so there it was: hot tofu and sesame noodles. And it was delicious, the best tofu I have ever eaten. Thank you, Mollie Katzen.