sophiaham

Ugh, It seems like I am looking for something that I can not find. I know that when you give up you eventually find the one. I feel like I am in that movie the forces of nature, everyone I seem to like does not like me and vice versa. I finally went on a date with a nice guy or so I thought but he did not call. I feel like I am just lonely as pathetic as it sounds. I remember a time when I was happy with my life the way it was even though everyone around me had someone. I am reading this book by a preacher that says everything happens in its own time.

I know I have not gotten over my past relationships really the one serious relationship I have. I know its silly to think I will never have a boyfriend again. But all I know is bars, online, speed dating whatever does not work to find a guy. A hookup yeah. But not something real, especially in NYC.

But I did something positive on Monday though. I signed up for the Out of the Darkness Overnight. Which is a 20-mile walk through the night. It’s a journey of hope – to heal the losses of the past and help prevent suicide from taking more lives. Net proceeds will benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, to fund research, education, survivor and awareness programs – both to prevent suicide and to assist those affected by suicide. I need to raise a thousand dollars so if you are interested in sponsoring me please visit my link below to my sponsor page below.

http://www.theovernight.org/fundraising/hamil

Thanks,
Sophia

So I was feeling down yesterday because I feel like I will never meet a cool guy that I actually like. But my friend told me I am probably attracting the wrong people subconciously. So I read the Secret chapter on love again and it said that if you want to find love you have to love yourself completely.

So yesterday, instead of wallowing in my own self pity. I wrote 50 things that I liked about myself and then I came to the conclusion hey I rock. His loss not mine.

And that I have plenty of love in my life with my family and friends so I want to keep being content just being me.

Yesterday, I had the most awful date with this guy who basically ripped me apart for driving me to Staten Island, which was not even a big drive from the city.

But he called me manipulative and seemed to light up when he saw that I was hurt. To say he was wrong for me is an understantment. I was initially attracted to him because he was sarcastic and I thought he was intruiging and I found myself drinking to cope yesterday which made me really mad at myself and anyway. I digress to quit drinking is another goal.