I was in a constant war with myself for the past 10-12 years (by the time I could make more complex thoughts). Finally the smoke is down but not for long. This war sometimes was painful sometimes beautiful. It’s a path full of dangers, understanding and making peace with yourself. A peace that is never sure. Understand yourself and you will understand the world because you are a mirror of the world and the world a mirror of you. A long long journey with a dreamful destination. The most difficult road you will ever walk. Paradise and hell both mixed up until you reach the end. Then they will seperate.
If the answers that you give yourself don’t sound good try harder. Never trust the easy path. The truth is beautiful and you are attracted to it. You will know when you are there.
Never forget your motivation. And the only motive that can keep you going is Love. Nothing less
I’m definitevily not the same person from my last entry. Things are getting better for me. Maybe that’s because I completely changed environment. Speaking to someone is much more natural for me now. Maybe a change is what you need otherwise you will never go forward. Still though I have to improve some things.
Has anyone seen the film “A beautiful mind” ? I’ m a bit like the hero. Of course I’m not talking about the intelligence of John Nash, but about the way he interacts with others. I speak very straight to others (can’t find any other way…) I can’t approach other people “normally” and I’m very easily lost in my world. I don’t speak much and when I speak I can’t organise well my words, so even if I have something intelligent to say, or my initial thought was very smart, when I tell it, it sounds really dumb. The words are like a running river: they all rush to come out of my mouth but in the end either they stuck at my lips or they sound really mixed up.