southcababe

That’s about 124 for me, which used to be my “fat” weight, but seeing as I’ve somehow ballooned…it isn’t anymore…
So, 124, here I come.

_{Nothing tastes as good as thin feels}

I was PERFECT yesterday, or reasonably so. I ate lots of veggies, no wheat, a bit of fruit, lots of protein, watched my calories…exercised for 3 or 4 hours…lots of water + tea…

AND I GAINED A HALF POUND.

What is this madness???

For the love of….okay, has this ever happened to anyone else??

I’m modifying my diet a bit. I’m so mad right now..at my body, my self…so I’m driving to the store later to stock up on healthy foods (including cereal and baked tortilla chips. And maybe peanut butter. My forbidden faves.), and I’m going to try the “portion control approach” because honestly, that is the only thing that has ever worked for me.
It seems so simple. It’s all about having willpower in the right places.
I’m going to let myself eat a bit more variety and NOT binge/go crazy, because this is something I need to relearn. I need to stop being in the mindset that a doctor encouraged me to have a few years ago (when I was super thin and beautiful): “EAT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT ALL THE TIME.”

So, this is where I say goodbye to that once and for all. I’m never bingeing or stuffing my face (and thighs) again.
I’m going to do this the right way.
No low carb, low fat, lettuce-only shit for me. Maybe a day every now and then, but it just isn’t going to do it for me long term.

My goal by the end of this week: 126ish. Not a stretch but it’s 3ish pounds.
I fucking hate my body. What is wrong with it?? Why hasn’t it dropped the weight?

Sigh..

Lots of work, sitting in school, lack of sleep = a less toned, slightly “rounder” version of me.
I’m starting fresh. I did really well today, actually, food-wise, and what you eat is 90% of it.
So, I’m going to end the day well and go work out for a few hours. I’m feeling a touch lonely, and so endorphins and a bit of sweat should help. Plus, I always like to see progress.
I weighed myself this morning: 129. Hmm. My waist is clearly not as tiny as it normally is, but no matter, I’ve had a great day thus far and in two or three hours I’ll be able to classify it as an excellent day.
I’m pretty confident in my ability to slowly shed the fat. A new resolution of mine is to weigh myself daily to keep a tab on my progress.
I don’t need fatty foods or starchy carbs. I do, however, need to look GOOD.
So I will.