spanrrhtwilight

I have like, never believed in myself to be honest. I just always see the negative in myself and the positives in everyone else. Plus I recently found out that two of my closest friends have been talking about me behind my back which yeah, it’s not the end of the world but it really hurt me and kind of shattered all the little confidence I had. I know I’m not perfect and I embrace my faults really but I just want to be able to look in the mirror and think “yeah, I’m not so bad.” Not too much to ask is it?
Although; easier said that done.
I just think that doing this is going to help me a lot later in life (:

I get a bit nervous sometimes when I ride horses that I have had a bad expierience on or who I didn’t feel I could control particularly well so I just want to be more confident in myself and be able to ride any horse without freaking out. I did just that the other day (though to be fair I was kind of ill that day) and it annoyed me because I have no reason to be worried.
But I decided that next time I ride I’m going to be really positive (:

fiftyone. Jumping on a horse. It’s an amazing feeling; there’s nothing like it. I’d only ever trotted at jumps before so when I cantered to them everything just clicked.
fiftytwo. Not being afraid when I thought would be. Along with what I said about jumping; I thought I’d be scared of it but I wasn’t. I’m usually scared when horses run off with me but it happened when I was riding, the horse cantered to the trotting pole but I wasn’t afraid at all. I was quite pleased (:
fiftythree. Suceeding at something I’ve worked at for ages.
fiftyfour. Thinking about all the amazing expieriences I know I will have in the future.
fiftyfive. Thinking about how when I give blood I’ll be really helping someone. I can’t do it yet but as soon as I can I’ve decided to be one of those people who does it as much as possible
fiftyfive. Exploring new places
fiftysix. Hugs
fiftyseven. Having people come to me for advice; I feel like they trust me and want to hear my thoughts. It’s quite a good compliment.
fiftyeight. Being proud of my family and friends.
fiftynine. Happy endings
sixty. When your dreams come true (or seeing people’s dreams come true actually)