sphinx_rocks

I think it’s fun to ski, but I don’t really see the point in trying to limit when I reach double-black diamond. I should just ski for fun and because I love it, not as a competition.

Anytime we tried to be friends again, he would just get extremely defensive, upset, bossy and demanding – even though there was no reason to really argue. I just don’t like who I am around him and feel that there’s no point in trying to be friends with someone who I’m miserable around and who doesn’t like me much either. He kept trying to change me, even after we broke up, and I think that the friendship-thing’s just not going to work out.

That’s fine with me. And I figure that I might as well still be civil with him, because I don’t hate him and I’m not really angry at him anymore. He decides not to acknowledge when I say “hi” to him, but that doesn’t really bother me either.

I always would put up with anything. I’m glad that I finally gained enough confidence to stick up for myself… she’s just not a happy person, but luckily isn’t my roommate anymore.

I’m finally happy with who I am. I’m more confident, love my friends, have dreams I am actually trying to reach, finally found two majors I love, and am happy being me. My mother always told me that happiness needs to come from within yourself first before it can come from somewhere else. If you constantly are looking towards others to make you happy, and aren’t cool with who you are, then you’ll feel empty.

I hope that I can always be happy with who I am and always be me. I’m not saying that I’m finished with this goal yet, because I need it as a reminder to stay true to myself and not change who the real me is.

We’ve been trying to be friends again. This past week, we were actually doing a really good job. We could hang out with friends, joke, actually be interested in what the other person said, and were not trying to get back together. We both want to be just friends and nothing more.

So, I was optimistic – I finally thought we were moving in the right direction.

But, last night, he just had to bring up a touchy subject in front of others. I don’t need to go into details, but basically it turned into a tense argument (I don’t like to yell, so it wasn’t quite a fight). I’m just irked because we were doing so well, but he decided to pick a fight. In fact, what he was arguing about really has nothing to do with him, he has his facts all wrong (because he doesn’t want to hear my side), and he was constantly attacking me.

I really just want to be friends again – like we were before we dated. Is that going to be possible?

I don’t like telling people to shut up, but she’s just so bossy, demanding, bitchy, nasty, and loud. I can’t stand her! I hate being around her so much that every night I sleep on my guy-friends’ couch in their common room. I just don’t want to see her.

Ugh. I wish I wouldn’t let her hurt me so much, but I don’t want to yell at her and be “mean,” so I just avoid her.

I had never cried as hard as when he broke up with me, but after a while, I realized that my crying was only hurting me. And, I know he didn’t mean to make it that bad of a break up, so I am willing to forgive him. It’s been a little while now and I can say confidently that I don’t want to get back together with him. We would never work out in the long run and in the end of the relationship, he was never there for me and constantly made me feel bad about myself.

That is not to say that we won’t be friends again. Now we’re “cool” – not best friends, but are able to see each other without it being too awkward or without either of us hating the other.

Also, I used to get migraines constantly – about 4 times a week. Since we broke up, I haven’t had a single migraine. I’m much happier being free to do what I want to do and being able to move on.

I want to help people learn the importance of having a sustainable lifestyle – to help our environment. I also want to help people through art.

I’m trying to finish this big Triathlon with two of my friends. the rules are that you are allowed to do it individually or in a team of up to 3 people. One friend is running the required 26.2 miles, the other is swimming the 2.4 miles needed, and I’m going to bike 112 miles. We have to finish in a little under 2 weeks. Hopefully we can do it! My two friends said they’ll help me with biking if I need it, but I want to see if I can do it on my own. I just need to bike every day.

I’ve memorized about 90% of it – just keep messing up this one little part towards the end (but not the very end). I think if I just practice it more, I’ll get it down. :)

I am currently an undergrad double majoring in Environmental Studies and Studio Arts. Hopefully, in a little over 2 years, I’ll be going to school in Italy to get my Masters Degree in Art. I want to be a photo-journalist, art teacher, or college art professor. I already am (almost) fluent in Italian, so hopefully I can understand the professors well enough to get a degree. :)

We finally get along and are talking. He just was never really there before – gone about 8 months out of the year (not consecutively) and just didn’t really care to talk or get to know me when he was home. Now that I pushed him out of my life, he wants to be a part of it and “cares.” Maybe there’s hope for us…?

So close! It started to rain when we were looking at a pretty view, but then he pulled out the umbrella and soon it was pouring so we just headed back to the car. I think I need to hint that I want to someday have a kiss in the rain. :P

Under the stars…just wonderful.

It’s kinda funny…I’m in a relationship now but it’s not with anyone I expected: and it’s perfect. He (named Andrew) and I were friends for the longest time and would always flirt, but nothing ever came of it because neither of us were sure whether the other one liked us or not. We kinda just put it all on the back-burner this summer when a different guy who I kinda liked asked me out, I wasn’t sure if Andrew liked me and Andrew was leaving to study away for a semester. That guy and I never were in a “relationship,” but we dated…and when he turned out to be a total jerk, Andrew was there for me and would listen to my rants. Soon, the two of us would talk for hours almost every night and we grew even closer (and this time, we weren’t just flirting) even though he was 3,000 miles away. When he got back, he asked me out and now we’re in a relationship and it’s just perfect. He’s extremely sincere, caring, and funny and we get along great – like we always had :)

I’m getting there, I think. Dad and I at least talk now and I can tell he’s trying to be there for me. He’s finally realizing that he wasn’t being the best father he could have been and he doesn’t want to lose me entirely. Maybe someday, I can forgive him for the mistakes he’s made in the past.

Hopefully either next year or the year after, I’ll be studying abroad in Florence. By the end of this school year, I’ll have 6 quarters of Italian under my belt, so I can take the program where I’m taught entirely in Italian. Maybe I can take art history classes – I’m so exctied!!

So the guy I was “dating” turned out not to be, um, “Mr. Right.” Long story short: we drifted apart and he even stood me up on one date…and he’s really (I mean REALLY) into drinking. I was a little upset that he and I “ended” for a while, but this kinda led to something better happening:

I found out that a friend (who I’ve really liked for a while) actually has liked me for a long time and was just slightly backing off for a while because I was dating a different person. He just was never brave enough to ask me out before… And now that I’m “single,” he has come out and told me how he feels. He’s studying away for this semester, but it won’t be long until he comes back, plus we talk on the phone or AIM almost everyday. Hopefully, this is finally the right guy for me. Fingers crossed

I think the best kiss in the rain in the movies is in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I love Audrey Hepburn – she’s my favorite actress. When I first saw that movie, I definitely wanted to be kissed like that.

I have been on a few dates with one person now, but we’re still “technically” not in a relationship yet. I know he likes me – he has asked me out each time, pays for meals and movies fully (even when I insist to pay too), opens doors for me, pulls my chair out for me, etc. We get along really well – hardly ever any awkward silence, and we both are talking (no one-sided conversations). I just can’t seem to get brave enough to kiss him – and I think he doesn’t want to move “too fast” for me. How do I get brave enough to kiss him or how do I hint for him to kiss me?