srachang

Working with kids is not that rewarding experience some try to make it out to sound like. I find it soul sucking more often than not. Most of the kids I work with are from broken homes or have parents that are devastatingly clueless on how to raise children. This leads to constant frustration at work.

I can’t blame the kids, it’s not like they have been taught any better but my god they can be down right infuriating at times. I try hard at work to keep my goal of being more conscious of how I affect others but sometimes I flat don’t care after I’ve told a child 3 times in a row to stop punching another kid and my words go completely unnoticed.

This is part of the reason I’ve cut my hours back. I’ve gotten better at controlling my temper, but I’m yet to reach the stage where I can just let these irritating situations not affect me in a negative way.

Well, at least I am trying.

I recently started listening to the Guided Lamrim Meditations by Thubten Chodron. It has been wonderful. I have read books like “Mindfullness in Plain English” (which I highly recommend) and had been doing some meditations from the book “The New Meditation Handbook” by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso. Although the books are great, I was having a lot of trouble sticking with/ finding the motivation to do the meditations. I couldn’t help shake the feeling I was doing it all wrong.
Currently our Geshe-la is out of the country, and it is hard to practice when you are still relatively new, without any guidance. Also, Geshe-la needs a translator most of the time, so it can make things harder as well. But I can’t wait to have him back so our Sangha can start growing again :)

Anyway, these Lamrim meditations are just what I needed. Thubten Chodron walks you through each meditation in a way that I instantly connected with. The caring and softness of her voice makes you feel like you are right there with her.

After each session I feel great, and I feel that I’ve accomplished something positive. I don’t have that anxiety that I’m doing it all wrong or not getting out of it what I’m suppose to. Mostly, I don’t feel like I’m going it alone, and that makes for a much more enjoyable and fruitful experience.

Well, i finally have a yoga mat. I’ve practiced yoga off and on for the last 2 years somehow without a mat. I don’t recommend it! Anyway, I’m trying hard to practice once a day. My goal is at least 5 times a week. I feel so good after each session and I hope I won’t lame out and let my practice go by the way side.
I plan to make myself a reminder of some sort to hang on my wall to guilt/motivate me on the days I’m not feeling up to it.

To anyone who is thinking about doing yoga- just do it! I almost always start out lethargic, stiff, and somewhat whining. But I know that if I push my self to get on that mat, all of that laziness melts away and by the time I’m done I feel like I have more than enough energy to get the things done that I need to do.

Everyone is different but I always feel tired after any kind of sport or other physical activity. I feel drained, not energized and that’s why I <3 yoga.