yeah, i have manic depression and after a recent visit to the psychiatric outpatient’s unit i have been told i am in the middle of a mania episode. i have been reading up on it and it seems to me that i am going through more of a depressive episode or a hypomania situation… it is horrible and i have no idea what i am doing most of the time. i have no attention span and just shift from one mood to another at the blink of an eye.
i am meant to be going on Lithium soon… but the hospital is faffing. i hate it. i hate feeling like this, like some big stranger is living in my head. i am sometimes so shocked about some of the things i say and do without even a second thought. am i crazy?
Oct 05, 2007, 06:21AM PDT | 2 cheers | 1 comment
yeah, if any of you read any of my other entries… i effed up again. i am awful with money and the fact that i have some sort of stupif brain defect that stops me from thinking about things in a scrutinizing way doesn’t help. after my last spending spree (blowing my credit card limit os £2000) my mother-in-law paid it off and i have been paying her some money ever since. i decided to be an idiot again and spend it all… on nothing. makeup, taxis, meals out, etc. all of the credit card is gone again and this time i have noone to pick my pieces up for me. it is my job to sort it out and be a big adult about this.
i hate manic depression.
Oct 05, 2007, 06:17AM PDT | 1 comment
love remains…
we had a big problem last week… i have manic depression and am really bad with money. for the second time in the last year i have blown my credit card. after the last time, husband told me that he would leave me if it happened again. you must be able to imagine the fears that i had when i had to go and tell him i had done it again. instead, he was calm and sat with me so we could figure it out. since this problem we seem to be stronger than ever. it is really special, the way we feel towards one another now.
hopefully, this is the beginning of a new ending for us.
Oct 05, 2007, 06:13AM PDT | 3 cheers | 0 comments
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