starslament

Oh, I really, REALLY have to just DO this one of these freeking days!

I’ve been doing okay. I’m not trying to STOP it, just control it. I mean if you try to stop dead when you fail you feel like shit for weeks, and everytime you “start-over” it feels like a punishment from some dark god.

My therapist had no advice, other then go to stoppicking.com Yeh, thanks. I could’a found that on mah own.

I tried writing little motivational things on the mirror really small, but my boyfriend noticed and I feigned that they were a “story idea” I scribbled down at 2 am.

It’s funny, he knows that I have some “imperfection thing” but he doesn’t get the scope of it. He tries to be supportive when it comes up, but I can tell he tries to never think about it and doesn’t get why I just don’t stop.

Of course he’d never say that out-loud, and so I’ll never tell him any details. Yay for relationships!!!

Oh, and I know tonight will suck for me, cuz I spent all day working on calculus and feeling like a total retard plus I have a friends party to go to. Freeking JOY.

I don’t. Other then that this is getting in the way of my life, and my relationship. the “you-don’t-love-yourself” thing’s getting old.