stop_now

HEY. please keep writing.
everytime you visit, please, just write something. anything.
Encouragement helps.

so i don’t know.

today, i hit an all time low.
i haven’t touched myself for almost six months now, but
today, i had to.
i was aware of what i was doing the whole time.
it started with putting my hand in the area,
and then it lasted only a second.
and then another few seconds.
and at the end of a good amount of seconds, i stopped myself
and that’s when the internal dialogue began.
it’s a struggle. it was difficult in that moment
because everything was telling me to keep going and to finish it off,
and the other was telling me to stop what i was doing. and that i didn’t want to go through with this.
i haven’t had an “episode” like this since i started.
i haven’t touched myself in almost six months, and today
i did. i didn’t ejaculate.
i only did it for a few seconds, but it wasn’t really pleasurable,
because all the time i could only think
of how i would be breaking my streak.
guys,
please
PLEASE
continue fighting this with me.
continue encouraging each other.
we can’t do this alone.
please
PLEASE
in the moment,
decide not to go through with it.

thanks.
and
fight on.

still haven’t beaten this.. i’d say i got more to work on.
i haven’t caved in yet. feb 1, but at times i feel tempted.
sometimes its all i can think of.
but i keep on going.
whatever is good, whatever is pure, think on these things.

we were having the times of our lives, and then
in the moment of just living,
a friend confessed he was struggling with this.

the mood quickly changed, but it was still good.

surround yourself with good company.
surround yourself with people who will support you
and lift you up.
surround yourself with people who you can be
open
and
honest
and vulnerable with.

being surrounded by good community
helps a lot.
we don’t even have to think of it,
sometimes, just thinking about them
reminds me of how i don’t want to let them down.