stronglady

so, anyways – i have diverticulitis thanks to my mom’s side of the family and i’ve been having really painful attacks of it for about 3 weeks now because i’ve just been eating really horrible lately. i’m finally sick of the pain and i’m not ready to go through surgery to fix it, so i did some internet surfing and almost every website about diverticulis suggest a liquid diet for severe attacks. i would have done it sooner, but honestly i have a fear of fasting and i like food ALOT. but the fear of a colonoscopy is worse so on may 28th, i decided to liquid diet. i’m drinking juice and water and black coffee and eating sugar free popsicles. the first day was hard. i was super hungry and felt shaky and weak. i didn’t think i could do it for another day, but the next morning, my body felt so good, i decided to stick with it. usually my body aches in the morning, but now i wake up with no pain and a smile on my face – which is extremely unusual for me as i am not a morning person. my attitude is more positive – i just feel better all over. i know it’s just water weight, but seeing the scale go from 154 pounds to 146 pounds in just a matter of a few days has relit my fire for my desire to lose weight. i know i can’t stay on the liquid diet forever, but when my symptoms are gone, and i go back to solid foods, i know this time i can avoid unhealthy foods and never overeat again.

i dont understand why i can’t get the motivation to lose this damned weight. do i not want it enough? i don’t see how that could be the case since i’ve been ‘trying’ for so long. i hate this

..cuz it ain’t gonna clean itself and the hubby sure as hell aint gonna do it