I'm doing 8 things

Jenny's Life List

  1. 1. be happy
    1 entry . 12 cheers
    25,009 people
  2. 2. Quit Smoking
    9,311 people
  3. 3. find my passion
    2,140 people
  4. 4. get married
    21,353 people
  5. 5. pay off my student loans
    1 cheer
    3,012 people
  6. 6. Go back and finish college
    1 cheer
    30 people
  7. 7. Let go of the past
    1 cheer
    1,987 people
  8. 8. find a job that makes me happy
    1 cheer
    557 people
Recent entries
force myself to go to the alateen meeting on 10/24 whether i want to or not. (read all 2 entries…)

and i failed once again. but i guess it wasn’t only my was his too. cause i was depending on him to go..i didn’t want to go alone. whatever. i guess there are more important things than this..

force myself to go to the alateen meeting on 10/24 whether i want to or not. (read all 2 entries…)

it’s the anniversary meeting..and i really should go. just cause i’ve been skipping out on them all lately. which is really dumb cause i’ve needed them desperately. i guess it’s a trust issue. and my lack of tolerance for people with fake problems. but i HAVE to go. or i’m gonna be really mad at myself.

Come to terms with the fact that I have no control over whether things get better or not with him (read all 14 entries…)

so on some levels, things are getting worse.
and on others..much better.
i’m not sure which one overrules the other. but i guess it really doesn’t matter all that much, huh?

so yeah..ashley is really getting pissed at him and i don’t blame her. i just don’t know what to do to help her. i’ve taken her to meetings and we’re going againt tonight..just trying to do all i can to help her figure things out. cause i figureit’s the least i can do. i feel like i have thigns figured out for the most part..and that’s helping me out a lot. i feel like i have a better hold on my life at this i feel like i’m in a better place to help her and my mother. cause it seems as if i’ve been given the job of helping them rather than helping myself. which isn’t good..i don’t even go there with me.

we’re going on a family trip tomorrow to Massachusetts. this should be interesting. one of two things could happen: all will go fine and he won’t drink and we won’t fight. OR..he’ll be drunk the whole time and we’ll have to figure out what to do with him. yeah. i’m crossing my fingers for the first one..but knowing inside that the latter is the more likely outcome.

i dunno what to think anymore.
i guess mom told him that if he doesn’t stop soon she’s going to have to ask him to leave the house until he can straighten his shit out. cause none of us can handle this anymore.

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