Susan Hertz

I am 40ish, recently divorced, and never really tried smoking! I was always the goody-goody and had the girl next door image all my life. It was like…”Susan would NEVER smoke-she’s just not the type”! But inside I AM the type but was always too afraid of what “they” would say. Smoking has somehow always seemed to me kinda “naughty/bad”, sexy/erotic and so sociable to do. I see other women all the time chatting/gossiping!...over coffee or a drink and enjoying a cigarette. Or people say how good one is after sex! My friend Beth(who smokes)one time asked if I wanted to try it and I quickly said no, BUT inside I was saying to myself YES! She(and I’ve heard others) says she needs them and I wonder what that feels like? Good? If I do this I might just ask her if I could try it with her. Will she be shocked! It will take a lot of nerve for me to do this but maybe that fear will pass quick and I’ll be smoking finally like I think I want to. My daughter just turned 16 and she recently started. I did not get mad at her because I knew how I really felt. She will really be surprised big time if(when?) I start but probably also happy in an odd way too. We could sit and chat ‘n smoke and that might be real nice. Now…what kind of cigarette is good? What kind should one start on? Is it hard to inhale the smoke? Will I get used to it fast and addicted fast if I start? Should I start to carry them in my purse right away? How do I explain all this to some who are bound to ask and be nosey? Well…I’m ready to do this (I think) so if anybody out there has any ideas let me know. Oh…I KNOW ITS BAD for you-no need to tell me that lecture. OK? Thanks and I’ll write here if I do it and how it goes! Thanks!!!

just to see what it would be like to have one there between my legs! ONE DAY ONLY tho!

...one day at a time this can be done.