sweetipie002

i fell in love this summer. we knew each other from school, but were both kind of quiet so didn’t talk all that much. one night he invited me over for wine so he could hear about an idea i was working on for my project. he was completely respectful and i could tell he actually wanted to listen to me, it wasn’t just an excuse to invite me over.
we hung out a few times after that (he would always try to find reasons to call me or hang out) and were really able to relax and talk about real stuff. later in the summer, i had been trying to make it clear to him that i liked him but didn’t want to complicate the friendship (and i was just scared shitless!). he asked me if he could cook me dinner at my apartment one night. a few glasses of wine later, he finally figured out that i liked him and we kissed on my front porch. it was amazing :)
we have been together for a month now, and i am completely in love with him. he understands my intense side but also can make me laugh my ass off! not to mention he is wicked smart, interesting, cute, and likes to cook!
i didn’t think i would find a decent guy EVER. seriously, i know everyone says that but i REALLY had bad luck in the past.
i’m leaving boston in a two weeks and he’s staying here, but we are gonna try the long distance thing. i’m trying to cherish every single moment.

boston was everything i’d hoped it would be, and more :) it was so exciting exploring a new city without the pressure of school!! i really made time for myself and enjoyed going to the market, buying fresh fruit and flowers, exploring the gorgeous parks and plazas, and reading. i’m leaving in 2 weeks and its making me sad…

a couple of weeks ago i got a text message from him saying “you have no reason to believe me, but i love you and i always will. where i was once lost, i no longer am”. well obviously i couldnt ignore that, so i called him. we got to talking, he professed his love and talked about getting back together. i was excited but still hesitant- we repeat this pattern often and he usually ends up dumping me. i invited him to come visit me for the weekend so that we could talk about it in person more rationally. he came down, things were comfortable. we both said i love you and held hands. then the subject of getting back together came up… i told him i am willing to make it work if we are both in it 100%. he made excuses, saying his job is going to consume lots of his time, etc, etc, and hes not sure if he can build a relationship on top of that. it was all bullshit (i have a job too and am twice as busy as him). i looked into his eyes and knew he was going to hurt me again. i told him to stop coming back if he doesnt intend to ever stay. so i said goodbye, let him sleep on the couch, and told him to be gone by the time i woke up in the morning.
i woke up, and he was gone. i felt an odd sense of relief. it’s finally over.