I had a booth at a flea-market. I finally sold them. All of my “Power of the Force” ‘90s action figures. They were worth less than when I bought them. Selling them was a good reminder that consumerism is a dead-end, and all collectibles are a bubble. I probably could’ve gotten more for them then I did, but that would’ve involved spending way more time then they were worth. Good riddance, I’m a Trekkie, anyway.
Ethan's Life List
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1. stop being so angry
1 entry . 3 cheers144 people -
2. record my songs
25 cheers159 people -
3. get in shape
1 entry . 8 cheers10,336 people -
4. Learn Ruby
1 cheer1,861 people -
5. renew my passport
1 cheer259 people -
6. be a better cook
1 entry . 15 cheers483 people -
7. Learn to program synthesizers
2 entries . 4 cheers7 people -
8. type with 10 fingers
1 entry . 9 cheers345 people -
9. write a novel
11 cheers11,369 people -
10. Be a better atheist.
2 entries . 16 cheers69 people -
11. juggle 5 balls
2 entries . 20 cheers35 people -
12. expand my social circle
22 cheers541 people -
13. learn to ride a unicycle
2 entries . 16 cheers300 people -
14. learn to speak toki pona
1 entry . 2 cheers19 people -
15. get more tattoos
9 cheers1,683 people -
16. Give away a bunch of clothes I've been meaning to give away for a long time
14 cheers145 people -
17. refresh my Japanese
2 entries . 8 cheers9 people -
18. write more letters
1 entry . 10 cheers1,847 people -
19. use caffeine with wise moderation
3 entries . 15 cheers1 person -
20. Contribute, in some way, to "This American Life"
9 cheers6 people -
21. stop retroactively justifying bad decisions
13 cheers1 person -
22. Get through college with a decent credit rating
1 entry . 9 cheers1 person -
23. be mystical
7 cheers3 people -
24. be the feeder in a juggling pattern
2 entries . 2 cheers1 person -
25. graduate from college with honors
2 entries . 7 cheers58 people -
26. Learn a tone language
2 entries . 2 cheers4 people -
27. learn a polysynthetic language
1 entry . 3 cheers1 person -
28. kiss in iran
4 cheers3 people -
29. develop a juggling routine
1 entry . 6 cheers1 person -
30. learn to swim
5 cheers3,418 people -
31. write anonymous, loving post-its for strangers to find
11 cheers862 people -
32. Microwave a grape
15 cheers27 people -
33. play guitar at least thrice a week for two months
3 cheers1 person -
34. get a handle on the metric system
1 entry . 4 cheers1 person -
35. Eat Basashi
1 cheer1 person -
36. Use TiddlyWiki to write a role-playing adventure
1 entry . 1 cheer7 people -
37. try capoeira
1 entry . 2 cheers30 people -
38. get my ear pierced
37 people
How I did it: It was very sweet. I got her flowers the day before (I didn't have a vase and I didn't want them to wilt.) I made her pumpkin waffles, we spent the first half of the day baking cupcakes for a party, (which we didn't end up going to, but it didn't matter). We went out to dinner with her mom at our usual Sunday-night hang-out (We've only been dating for less than two months, and already we're pretty habit-bound people) and than decided to c… Read how I did it…
I really don’t fully understand why I get so angry, usually over nothing of real consequence. I didn’t even realize I was so temperamental until recently. I think some people who’ve gotten to know me in grittier situations, not just in social settings, but settings where there is a goal involved and challenges to be faced, have seen me lose my temper, and I think they’ve tried to reflect that back at me, but I’ve been in denial about it until now.
I think it’s gotten worse, which may be, ironically, a good thing. I think whatever the source of this crap is, it needs to be dealt with, certainly before I can be a good husband, before I have kids. I think my anger is holding me back from accomplishing so many of the other things on my list, because, well… for a lot of reasons. Reasons that are clear to me, but not so easy to put into words.
I don’t feel good about myself, and I’m not sure how I can start until I get over my anger, and I don’t know how I can do that until I start to feel better about myself… I really have no idea how to break this cycle.
Being a week from my birthday, Valentine’s day is a little heavy for me. When I was 16 (almost 17), and very awkward around girls, I actually had a date for a Valentine’s day party, but she chose to break-up with me- at the party. (Several years later, she went out of her way to apologize, which is nice I guess.)
Nothing that bad has happened since then, but the holiday remains less then thrilling for me. It’s not that I don’t like the concept of a day celebrating love, but as someone who has been single far more often than not, all those hearts and teddy bears and red and pink fluffy things just kind of rankle. It sort of feels like the world is rubbing my nose in it.
I’d really prefer to get over it. Chocolate is good and I like those little conversation hearts (am I the only one who actually thinks they taste good?) Right now I’m dating someone who also hates Valentine’s day, so if we’re still together in a few weeks, maybe we could both hate it together? I don’t hold out any hope of (sweeping her)/(being swept off my) feet, but just once being able to say “yeah, it was pretty good, actually” on Feb 15th would be good enough for me.
