sykexmode

as a promise to myself to move on, i will be cutting all ties with him entirely, deleted his phone #, no more checking his facebook, aim, or even his friends’ as it would make my mind wander to all the hurtful things he did because he always chose his friends over me. this is making me come off as crazy, controlling, psychotic girlfriend but it wasn’t like that. all i wanted was for him to show me i was important and worth him spending his time with. every time he would tell me i am important; sadly i fell for his lies for three years, had to find out the hard way. he couldn’t prove it to me through his actions; he was all talk. we stopped talking for about a month and he never called once to ask me to take him back. in this case, i may be fortunate so i can move on without him making it harder but it hurt like hell to know he moved on so quickly and losing me was no big deal. this was how he finally proved to me how right i was about “i’m not important in his life” and i made the right decision.

it so hard going through other people’s entries and reading how their ex tried to fix things. it’s been a month and i’m dying to see his call on my phone. i guess in my mind, i haven’t quite accepted things truly over because we’ve had a lot of on-and-offs. (it’s a good thing i finally figured out i cannot be the one to beg him to take me back anymore, been there and done that way too many times. i learned, and i’ve controlled my urges to call him.)