tabanana

Got it yesterday. An early birthday present to myself.

The internet is a good tool for research and entertainment but it can be an addictive drug. I could go online and say that “I’ll just check email,” but a click of a link here and a click of a link there- I check the clock and realize I just spent several hours of my life doing something relatively unimportant and I will never get that time back. It can be very relaxing, for sure, but the amount of time I used to kill for entertainment purposes was just too much. So, I cut my time in half, and now I can give more attention to other things that need to be done.

Something natural and repeating that we experience is that people come in and out of our lives all the time. A lot of these times, they’re brief encounters with others we have pleasant conversations with at the store or on the train. After life calls back, everyone goes their own separate way. Other times, there’s such a striking connection that we purposely meet again and again, marking the birth of a new relationship. Sometimes these new friends stick around and sometimes they don’t.

For a long time, I was only comfortable with the idea of having acquaintances and “friends forever.” I liked meeting new people for brief moments and didn’t mind parting ways with them, but friends were a harder group to watch walk away. My mind was in a fairytale, thinking two friends could be friends forever as long as the good times kept rolling. But, of course, the reality is that it isn’t always good times. Because I had a problem with this, I tried everything I could to keep these friends around, even if it meant sacrificing my beliefs, safety, and/or self-respect. I figured I would feel bad about myself for a short while but eventually forget all about it as everything got fun again. And it did. Everytime.

But recently, I’ve again started to look back on how I’ve treated myself and others and allowed them to treat me, and I don’t like what I see. I’ve done and said a lot of things that put everyone through unnecessary hurt and struggles. Many things about me have changed over the years- in negative ways- and I don’t like who I’ve become. I feel I’ve lessened my quality as a person, all in the name of friendship. I’ve let poisonous people bring out the worst in me, and I worry not just about those I’ll be forming new relationships with in the future but the good friends I have now. They are great people who are right to expect more from me and deserve my best, and I don’t want to be their poison.

So, this is why I’m setting this goal for myself. To accomplish this, I will have more appreciation for those who have had a positive effect on my life, spend more time with positive-thinking people, and live by the Reason, Season or Lifetime^{1^ approach to relationships. I hope to be in good, healthy relationships by becoming a healthy and balanced human being. It all begins with us.}

1^ From an email (don’t know the original source):

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. When you know which one it is for a person, you will know what to do with them.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.