1. Because I noticed that if I meditate twice a day, it’s easier than meditating once a day. So I want to meditate twice a day during April, once when I wake up and once at approximately 2 p.m., so about halfway through the waking day.
2. Eat two healthy meals I prepared myself.
3. Pay attention in two classes per day.
4. Floss twice a day.
This will be hard, but as dragonfly35 mentioned: “[I]f it isn’t tough, it isn’t bootcamp[!]”
I don’t know exactly why, but I always feel like I have to explain myself, so to avoid that, I hide stuff. When I lived with my brother or with a friend’s family, I was constantly sneaking around so they wouldn’t know where I was or what I was doing. At work and at school, I often sneak in and out so no one will know whether or not I’m there.
I think some of this started when I was a kid and I fancied myself a writer, but people would constantly ask questions about what I was writing or stand around like they were going to read over my shoulder, and I knew that if anyone read something they wouldn’t get it and I’d have to explain why it wasn’t as bad as it seemed, and I started getting really paranoid, and it just progressed from there.
But the fact is, I don’t have to explain myself, and who cares if someone sees something awful that I wrote?
I would like to live so honestly that 1) I never hide anything, and if I don’t want to explain it, I just say, “I don’t care to explain,” 2) I do some things badly but openly and with gusto, and 3) when my boyfriend is at my house, I walk exactly as if I were alone.
I’m making some progress by dividing this into different types of willpower.
1) what kind of sites I visit – there are sites that I visit that aren’t productive of anything: useful knowledge, real fun, etc.
2) when I browse – I need to learn to choose my time wisely.
So I’m making a list of sites not to visit, and I’ve found that after about a week of not visiting a given site, it just drops off my mental radar. And I’m making a list of times not to use the internet, such as “before 9 in the morning”, “during class”, etc.
This is working. It feels great to start the day off with no internet!